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Re: Contract post...what if they aren't in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 84060" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>Oh thank you, thank you. I printed this out and use some things listed as my guideline. I am speaking with her dad today and I am telling him I'd like to stick to the end of the month date that we had originally agreed on. difficult child wants to come home earlier but she doesn't have her license anyway so I would be expected to drive her or she'd have her friends picking her up...not something I am ready for just yet. Also, H, exh, and I need time to go over what the contract will say. I don't think difficult child realizes that there will be strong conditions on her coming home and she needs to understand this. My H rolls his eyes when I mention anything of a talk or contract or agreement, etc. He thinks it's ridiculous and that we don't need to do that. In his words, "difficult child KNOWS the difference between right and wrong!! That is so stupid!!" But I know difficult child and if it's all down on paper, she will have a clear understanding of things...she won't be able to say later, "No, you said I could do this/that and...." you know? So, if I can't sit with H, I should just do it on my own, right? </p><p></p><p>I also don't want to fall into that trap of her bouncing between mine and exh's house, so I wanted to talk with exh about making sure that the same rules apply at his house. Not sure if that's going to fly since he recently told difficult child that if she and a couple of girlfriend's wanted to smoke pot in his house, he'd be okay with it. He further explained that while he won't smoke with her, he does smoke so he understands that he needs it to live life; otherwise he'd be a mess. So, not only do I not really want difficult child being under exh's supervision for an extended period of time (considering that eventually difficult child will find friends and if the pot smoking is permitted at his house, surely they will do just that!), but I don't want her thinking she can just bounce back and forth when things get tough. I know that exh will just tell her that she can always go to him if it stinks at home. I guess that's one of the things I have to let go of. I guess she's better off there than on the floor of a friend's home. </p><p></p><p>Thanks again. I will work on this tonight after I speak with H and exh. We need to have some ground rules and make a decision as to her paying rent, etc. I've never been a big advocate of charging rent, though my mom charged me and then used it for my first apt's security deposit and to buy me stuff for it as well. So, I see the point. The insurance money easy child paid went into a separate college account we had set up to cover move in costs when she went away. I suppose this would be a similar thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 84060, member: 2211"] Oh thank you, thank you. I printed this out and use some things listed as my guideline. I am speaking with her dad today and I am telling him I'd like to stick to the end of the month date that we had originally agreed on. difficult child wants to come home earlier but she doesn't have her license anyway so I would be expected to drive her or she'd have her friends picking her up...not something I am ready for just yet. Also, H, exh, and I need time to go over what the contract will say. I don't think difficult child realizes that there will be strong conditions on her coming home and she needs to understand this. My H rolls his eyes when I mention anything of a talk or contract or agreement, etc. He thinks it's ridiculous and that we don't need to do that. In his words, "difficult child KNOWS the difference between right and wrong!! That is so stupid!!" But I know difficult child and if it's all down on paper, she will have a clear understanding of things...she won't be able to say later, "No, you said I could do this/that and...." you know? So, if I can't sit with H, I should just do it on my own, right? I also don't want to fall into that trap of her bouncing between mine and exh's house, so I wanted to talk with exh about making sure that the same rules apply at his house. Not sure if that's going to fly since he recently told difficult child that if she and a couple of girlfriend's wanted to smoke pot in his house, he'd be okay with it. He further explained that while he won't smoke with her, he does smoke so he understands that he needs it to live life; otherwise he'd be a mess. So, not only do I not really want difficult child being under exh's supervision for an extended period of time (considering that eventually difficult child will find friends and if the pot smoking is permitted at his house, surely they will do just that!), but I don't want her thinking she can just bounce back and forth when things get tough. I know that exh will just tell her that she can always go to him if it stinks at home. I guess that's one of the things I have to let go of. I guess she's better off there than on the floor of a friend's home. Thanks again. I will work on this tonight after I speak with H and exh. We need to have some ground rules and make a decision as to her paying rent, etc. I've never been a big advocate of charging rent, though my mom charged me and then used it for my first apt's security deposit and to buy me stuff for it as well. So, I see the point. The insurance money easy child paid went into a separate college account we had set up to cover move in costs when she went away. I suppose this would be a similar thing. [/QUOTE]
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Re: Contract post...what if they aren't in Residential Treatment Center (RTC)?
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