peppermint
New Member
Father and mother were married 29 years and divorced decades ago because he was having an affair. Woman was 30+ years younger than him and became pregnant so mother filed for divorce. He married pregnant woman and had 2 more kids with her. He elected to move over 200 miles away and raised his new family there.
Fast forward 28 years later and all kids are now adults. He and second wife divorce. He dies and disinherits me, my two siblings and his 5 grandchildren but left an estate worth several million dollars to the 3 half siblings who are all single. Before anyone says it was father's money to do as he pleased, I understand that so please do not bash me.
However, this final move of his was spiteful and hateful; it is like a slap in the face, a rejection from the grave that has caused much anger and hurt. Have to give him credit that he acknowledged our existence in the trust, before electing to leave nothing to any of us. My 2 siblings and their families spent time with him every holiday, my children sent him cards, letters & pictures several times a year so we did try to keep a relationship with him and his family. Apparently, it was meaningless to him.
Everyone, for whatever reason you elect to disinherit your adult children, please reconsider. It is hurtful and leaves the disinherited adult children with questions that can never be answered and pain that feels like it can never be resolved. Sadly, father's desire to have the last word from the grave is what my children and I will remember of him. The legacy he left is not one which his oldest children and grandchildren will fondly remember.
*I am not saying to leave anything to family members who are abusive, drug/alcohol addicts, or all around not nice people. I am talking about family members who are decent, respectful, upstanding church going, tax paying citizens. *
Fast forward 28 years later and all kids are now adults. He and second wife divorce. He dies and disinherits me, my two siblings and his 5 grandchildren but left an estate worth several million dollars to the 3 half siblings who are all single. Before anyone says it was father's money to do as he pleased, I understand that so please do not bash me.
However, this final move of his was spiteful and hateful; it is like a slap in the face, a rejection from the grave that has caused much anger and hurt. Have to give him credit that he acknowledged our existence in the trust, before electing to leave nothing to any of us. My 2 siblings and their families spent time with him every holiday, my children sent him cards, letters & pictures several times a year so we did try to keep a relationship with him and his family. Apparently, it was meaningless to him.
Everyone, for whatever reason you elect to disinherit your adult children, please reconsider. It is hurtful and leaves the disinherited adult children with questions that can never be answered and pain that feels like it can never be resolved. Sadly, father's desire to have the last word from the grave is what my children and I will remember of him. The legacy he left is not one which his oldest children and grandchildren will fondly remember.
*I am not saying to leave anything to family members who are abusive, drug/alcohol addicts, or all around not nice people. I am talking about family members who are decent, respectful, upstanding church going, tax paying citizens. *