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General Parenting
Really is this normal for ADHD/Anxiety? Aggressive Behavior
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 380217" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>O we tried that route, too. Tae kwon do was supposed to be GREAT for ADD issues and a good outlet for angry energy. NOT!!! Instead, difficult child began using her new "moves" on the kids at school...</p><p> </p><p>I'm not saying this is what's happening your child - but for us, we learned that difficult child was being willful and stubborn on purpose, <em>to a point</em>. It was her remedy for feeling angry. If she was angry, upset and frustrated - then by golly she was gonna make sure that the people around her ALSO felt angry upset and frustrated. For difficult child, this was "fair".</p><p> </p><p>So she wasn't getting angry and frustrated on purpose, but boy o boy she sure was acting out on purpose.</p><p> </p><p>With couseling, we have learned that instead of "punishment" or "imposed consequences"...we need to ignore her. She can get angry and upset and frustrated and yell and scream and cry - but we are not going to let it ruin our day.</p><p> </p><p>And if it happens at school - we point out in a sort of "not quite a conversation" way...."Gee whiz - I wonder if that person will still be your friend after being treated like that? I wonder what you'll have to do to make it up to them?" and then we leave difficult child to figure out on her own that maybe that wasn't a good idea. (Wheareas, if you do try and sit down and have a rational conversation, difficult child is likely to just yell at you that of course the person will be her friend and you don't know anything.)</p><p> </p><p>Find a good counselor who can help your child figure out a better way of handling her anger and frustration.</p><p> </p><p>(And JMO, drop the karate...)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 380217, member: 6546"] O we tried that route, too. Tae kwon do was supposed to be GREAT for ADD issues and a good outlet for angry energy. NOT!!! Instead, difficult child began using her new "moves" on the kids at school... I'm not saying this is what's happening your child - but for us, we learned that difficult child was being willful and stubborn on purpose, [I]to a point[/I]. It was her remedy for feeling angry. If she was angry, upset and frustrated - then by golly she was gonna make sure that the people around her ALSO felt angry upset and frustrated. For difficult child, this was "fair". So she wasn't getting angry and frustrated on purpose, but boy o boy she sure was acting out on purpose. With couseling, we have learned that instead of "punishment" or "imposed consequences"...we need to ignore her. She can get angry and upset and frustrated and yell and scream and cry - but we are not going to let it ruin our day. And if it happens at school - we point out in a sort of "not quite a conversation" way...."Gee whiz - I wonder if that person will still be your friend after being treated like that? I wonder what you'll have to do to make it up to them?" and then we leave difficult child to figure out on her own that maybe that wasn't a good idea. (Wheareas, if you do try and sit down and have a rational conversation, difficult child is likely to just yell at you that of course the person will be her friend and you don't know anything.) Find a good counselor who can help your child figure out a better way of handling her anger and frustration. (And JMO, drop the karate...) [/QUOTE]
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