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really mad...long and a cuss word or 2 sorry
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<blockquote data-quote="nateisnuts" data-source="post: 197061" data-attributes="member: 5527"><p>so ive been</p><p>letting this therapist come into my home 2x a week for 2 months now..thinking were trying to do the right thing here...well nate has a re-evaluation for oct 7th and she gave me her evaluation that shes going to hand in so i could read it over...now before i post the highlights let me explain one more thing here..we live behind my parents in a small mother in law cottage, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, the house is actually a garage that the previous owner converted. we have lived here since weve been married..7 1/2 years. it is getting harder with both boys, but we are looking into our other options..hud, habitat, low income housing and so forth.</p><p>now..my nate has never...NEVER gone a day where he has not gone upstairs to see his grampa and gramma. my hubby works 2nd shift, 5pm-2am so my mom helps me ALOT with the boys at night. my dad is disabled so i help ALOT with taking him to apts, checking on him, running errands for him so mom doesnt have to miss alot of work. grampa is grampa lol he doesnt want to be a diciplinarian, but he tries not to let him get to out of hand.</p><p>we all try to work together so everyone gets taken care of ya know? ok so with that in mind here are some of the highlights from this ****ing *****'s report</p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>hyperactivity demonstrated appears within normal age limits</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>lack of appropriate boundaries allows client to manipulate</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>adult authorities</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>client has learned how to aacelerate stressors</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>enforcing consequences often proves to be beyond the tolerance</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>level of adult authorities</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>reinforcement of manipulative behaviors continues to be an</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>issue</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>mother becomes overly dependent on caretaking from extended</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>family about whom she complains cause disruption and defiance</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>mother has impulsive dependency needs</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>father, while a participant in childrearing, often gives</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>appearance that he enables manipulation by giving in to clients</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>impulsive behavior rather than addressing his complaints because</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>there is an underlying demeanor that this activity compromises his</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>own free time when not working outside the home</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>this is familiar to client since he is frequently exposed to very</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>permissive caretaking strategies to limit an adults stressors</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>with rare enforcement of any consequences</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>coping skills within both the immediate and extended family</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>environments are inadequetely developed</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>there is a negative interaction pattern developed from parental</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>frustrations to behaviors</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>ofetn the parents respond to normal 3 yr old behavior with offensive</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>style creating a degree of defensiveness on the part of the client</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>consequences are not consistently applied there are often empty threats</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>parents undermine each other and cloud boundaries...parents rarely</em></span></p><p><span style="color: #0000ff"><em>practice a unified front</em></span></p><p>i am so freaking ****** its not even funny...so are my parents and husband...here we are trying to do the best we can in a stressful situation and she comes in and twists things and makes it sound like we are just stressed out adults who cant handle one little 3 yr old! she got things so wrong...i got this on thursday and its monday and im still seeing red!! shes here for a lousy 3 or 4 hours a week! and im sorry but i havent seen her really do anything with nate...she gets him to repeat rules back to her and she does this thumbs up/thumbs down for good behavior bad behavior, but mostly she just lets him play with her box of toys and does puzles with him. im not gonna take this quietly..im gonna dispute this whole thing...but i dont want her back here. i really think we just need to take a step back and find our own way to handle nate..maybe if he gets worse when hes in school he may need help again...but until then i really dont want anyone here. and the "stressors" shes referring to...i have fibromyalgia, for almost 12 years now..i havent been doing well lately, i dont know if im in a bad flare or somethings progressing...but i still take damn good care of both these boys, my house is clean, dinner is made, im up with the baby when he gets up at night...i dont get to rest, my hubby thinks hes way more entitled because he works....but i keep going and doing what i gotta do ya know...so i guess that counts for nothing...oh yeah and all this? is on top of taking care of my 11 month old who has some small developmental delays and sensory isues...so i have developmental therapy coming every other week for him and occupational </p><p>therapy every week and of course the numerous dr's apts...but hey, im over reacting ya know...and we are all just being mean to nate...hes not hyper or oppositional...and about my hubby..yeah he can be a jerk sometimes, but he is a good dad and has ALWAYS been there for me and the boys and my family no matter what...he just doesnt like her so he tends to show his *** when she's here lol</p><p>i posted this in a vent room and one of the responses i got was this</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she was seeing actions and behaviors that the family are not seeing. After all noone wants to here they need parenting help. I wouldn't be ******. I would use all the resources they provide to become better parents.</p><p> </p><p>and this was my reply</p><p></p><p>shes not seeing behaviors we dont see..shes taking things that are going on and twisting them! because nate goes upstairs and sees grampa every day she is saying im overly dependent on my extended family and im relying on them for care taking...like i cant take care of my own kids! HE WANTS HIS GRAMPA FOR GODS SAKE! and my dad is always happy to see him and play with him! and the consistency thing...im sorry but its not my dads job to dicipline him..its mine! yeah he can tell him no dont do that or you cant have that and if he really acts up he sends him back downstairs and i take care of the situation. shes saying that because im stressed out and i have some medical issues that i have impulsive dependency needs and blah blah blah...i know women who have fibro who have not had children at all because they dont think they can handle it....its very hard!! but i still cowboy up and do what i gotta do!! and what you said about not wanting to hear i need parenting help? why do you think we sought out help in the first place! we want the help and we are willing to work and learn...but shes twisting things all around and making it sound like we arent caring for our kids!!</p><p>my other concern is if she says its all us and hes just fine and dandy will he lose the medical assistance?? thats how i get his medication for his sleep...this is such a mess...i didnt get a good vibe when she first came and now i guess i know why....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="nateisnuts, post: 197061, member: 5527"] so ive been letting this therapist come into my home 2x a week for 2 months now..thinking were trying to do the right thing here...well nate has a re-evaluation for oct 7th and she gave me her evaluation that shes going to hand in so i could read it over...now before i post the highlights let me explain one more thing here..we live behind my parents in a small mother in law cottage, 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, the house is actually a garage that the previous owner converted. we have lived here since weve been married..7 1/2 years. it is getting harder with both boys, but we are looking into our other options..hud, habitat, low income housing and so forth. now..my nate has never...NEVER gone a day where he has not gone upstairs to see his grampa and gramma. my hubby works 2nd shift, 5pm-2am so my mom helps me ALOT with the boys at night. my dad is disabled so i help ALOT with taking him to apts, checking on him, running errands for him so mom doesnt have to miss alot of work. grampa is grampa lol he doesnt want to be a diciplinarian, but he tries not to let him get to out of hand. we all try to work together so everyone gets taken care of ya know? ok so with that in mind here are some of the highlights from this ****ing *****'s report [COLOR=#0000ff][I]hyperactivity demonstrated appears within normal age limits[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]lack of appropriate boundaries allows client to manipulate adult authorities[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]client has learned how to aacelerate stressors[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]enforcing consequences often proves to be beyond the tolerance level of adult authorities[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]reinforcement of manipulative behaviors continues to be an issue[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]mother becomes overly dependent on caretaking from extended family about whom she complains cause disruption and defiance[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]mother has impulsive dependency needs[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]father, while a participant in childrearing, often gives appearance that he enables manipulation by giving in to clients impulsive behavior rather than addressing his complaints because there is an underlying demeanor that this activity compromises his own free time when not working outside the home[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]this is familiar to client since he is frequently exposed to very permissive caretaking strategies to limit an adults stressors with rare enforcement of any consequences[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]coping skills within both the immediate and extended family environments are inadequetely developed[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]there is a negative interaction pattern developed from parental frustrations to behaviors[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]ofetn the parents respond to normal 3 yr old behavior with offensive style creating a degree of defensiveness on the part of the client[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]consequences are not consistently applied there are often empty threats[/I][/COLOR] [COLOR=#0000ff][I]parents undermine each other and cloud boundaries...parents rarely practice a unified front[/I][/COLOR] i am so freaking ****** its not even funny...so are my parents and husband...here we are trying to do the best we can in a stressful situation and she comes in and twists things and makes it sound like we are just stressed out adults who cant handle one little 3 yr old! she got things so wrong...i got this on thursday and its monday and im still seeing red!! shes here for a lousy 3 or 4 hours a week! and im sorry but i havent seen her really do anything with nate...she gets him to repeat rules back to her and she does this thumbs up/thumbs down for good behavior bad behavior, but mostly she just lets him play with her box of toys and does puzles with him. im not gonna take this quietly..im gonna dispute this whole thing...but i dont want her back here. i really think we just need to take a step back and find our own way to handle nate..maybe if he gets worse when hes in school he may need help again...but until then i really dont want anyone here. and the "stressors" shes referring to...i have fibromyalgia, for almost 12 years now..i havent been doing well lately, i dont know if im in a bad flare or somethings progressing...but i still take damn good care of both these boys, my house is clean, dinner is made, im up with the baby when he gets up at night...i dont get to rest, my hubby thinks hes way more entitled because he works....but i keep going and doing what i gotta do ya know...so i guess that counts for nothing...oh yeah and all this? is on top of taking care of my 11 month old who has some small developmental delays and sensory isues...so i have developmental therapy coming every other week for him and occupational therapy every week and of course the numerous dr's apts...but hey, im over reacting ya know...and we are all just being mean to nate...hes not hyper or oppositional...and about my hubby..yeah he can be a jerk sometimes, but he is a good dad and has ALWAYS been there for me and the boys and my family no matter what...he just doesnt like her so he tends to show his *** when she's here lol i posted this in a vent room and one of the responses i got was this Maybe she was seeing actions and behaviors that the family are not seeing. After all noone wants to here they need parenting help. I wouldn't be ******. I would use all the resources they provide to become better parents. and this was my reply shes not seeing behaviors we dont see..shes taking things that are going on and twisting them! because nate goes upstairs and sees grampa every day she is saying im overly dependent on my extended family and im relying on them for care taking...like i cant take care of my own kids! HE WANTS HIS GRAMPA FOR GODS SAKE! and my dad is always happy to see him and play with him! and the consistency thing...im sorry but its not my dads job to dicipline him..its mine! yeah he can tell him no dont do that or you cant have that and if he really acts up he sends him back downstairs and i take care of the situation. shes saying that because im stressed out and i have some medical issues that i have impulsive dependency needs and blah blah blah...i know women who have fibro who have not had children at all because they dont think they can handle it....its very hard!! but i still cowboy up and do what i gotta do!! and what you said about not wanting to hear i need parenting help? why do you think we sought out help in the first place! we want the help and we are willing to work and learn...but shes twisting things all around and making it sound like we arent caring for our kids!! my other concern is if she says its all us and hes just fine and dandy will he lose the medical assistance?? thats how i get his medication for his sleep...this is such a mess...i didnt get a good vibe when she first came and now i guess i know why.... 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