Really, really bad IEP meeting

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Oct 17, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Basically difficult child got thrown under a bus. All I heard was negative, negative, negative. I am glad she wasn't there to hear any of it. The general ed reading teacher was there. She made it absolutely clear that she does not want difficult child in her class. Said she felt strongly about it. Told us it's a class of 26 kids and difficult child, who is in all self contained classes of 7 kids as of now, wouldn't do well at all. My mom and I both explained that in middle school she was in a mainstreamed English class and reading class of about twenty kids and she did just fine. As a matter of fact, difficult child was better behaved and more motivated in her mainstream classes than she was in her ED classes.

    The teacher still adamantly said that she does not thing difficult child would be okay in her class. When I was asked my opinion, I said, "Well since the teacher clearly doesn't want my daughter in her class, I don't know what to say." The teacher then said that it has nothing to do with not wanting difficult child in her class. It has everything to do with difficult child being a failure. She has never even met my daughter. How can she make a blanket statement like that? How does she know my daughter would fail? She teaches kids who have a reading level of fifth to sixth grade. difficult child reads at a seventh grade level. Basically she is prejudiced against her since she is labeled "emotionally disturbed." We argued for about a half hour about the best placement for difficult child. One of the counselors suggested we give difficult child a couple other reading tests and see how she scores. We are going to meet back in a couple of weeks to discuss the results. I really don't know how the results are going to change anything. The teacher does not want difficult child there so how are the test results going to change anything.

    Oh, and the case carrier was absolutely not helpful whatsoever. She did not go to bat for difficult child at all. If anything, she agreed with the reading teacher. She says that difficult child doesn't socialize well so being in a larger class wouldn't do her any good. How can she say that? difficult child had several friends in her mainstream classes last year. This year she has all Special Education classes and they are all boys. She doesn't socialize well because she feels intimidated. She is a new student to that school. It is going to take awhile for her to feel comfortable enough to socialize with her peers. And just what does socializing have to do with her being in the least restrictive environment? Right now her reading class is super easy and difficult child says the work is "baby work." All of my arguments fell on deaf ears. I felt like banging my head against a brick wall. All I heard yesterday was a bunch of negative and nothing positive. My daughter may have her disabilties but she's still a great kid. Why am I the only person who can see that?
  2. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    Because the heroes we need these teachers and adminstrators to be, exist in very small numbers. Because most of these school "professionals" have very little understanding about mental illness and the supports necessary for success. If your child doesn't have a champion in at least one staff member, nothing moves forward. Does she have one champion at school? Does the school have a social support group of typical peers working with kids in spec. ed.?
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Keep hunting for that advocate.
    You need someone who knows the ropes, knows the law inside and out, and can pin this school to the mat.
    Your daughter - like all kids with serious issues - needs and deserves and has the right to be treated better than that.

    Did you request a written report with their decisions and explanations?
  4. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    They gave me some papers that basically stated her goals with the IEP. The goals I agreed with, but placement I did not. I didn't request a written report in regards to the reading class. I suppose when we meet in a couple of weeks to discuss the reading results I can ask for one. Right now I feel like she doesn't have anybody going to bat for her. Everyone at that meeting yesterday, with exception to her county therapist, agreed that she shouldn't be mainstreamed at all. The county therapist didn't say much, but she was the one who suggested we test difficult child further and then meet again to discuss the results.
  5. buddy

    buddy New Member

    What happened to least restrictive environment? I'm joining you in banging my head against wall. Just so sick of it.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    OK, so the county therapist at least partly gets it.
    Who else do you have involved with difficult child outside of school? therapist, psychiatrist, whoever else?
    Any way those can get their heads together and document why this extremely restrictive placement is the reason for some of difficult child 1's problems?

    And then... is this attitude "this school"? or the whole board?
    I've seen it both ways... it can be a bad-apple of a school, OR a bad-apple school division.
    If it's just the school... what other options are there? where else could she go to school and be better off?

    No matter what... you're going to need an experienced legal advocate... ideally, paid for by the state...

    This is blatent discrimination. The teachers are not comfortable dealing with a person with "mental health issues". i.e., they won't deal with "crazy" kids. (ya right. You tell me that there aren't worse kids out there without labels... )
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    IC, I have no idea where CB is located in CA or what her school district is like but if she is in a fairly small school district like I am there is not a whole lot of choice with kids with labels. You get a label of ED or EI I guess hers is, you get one set of classes at one school. Thats it if they decide you are to be in a self contained classroom.

    Here the label is behaviorally and emotionally impaired. That can cover just about anything and you have to fight to get ADHD not lumped in there. Cory's self contained class was a joke. Especially in HS. There were a few girls in it but there was absolutely no teaching going on. The kids were basically all delinquents waiting to go to juvy. One kid had an issue with smearing feces all over the wall. Most of the time they were fighting and arguing. Cory's tech took him out of class almost every day and took him back to their office to work on busy work so he wouldnt end up in fights. This is why I finally just pulled him out of HS at 15 and he never went back.

    CB, can you do online school for her and then get her involved with some sort of outside activities in the community? Honestly I think that would have been a much better option for us but it wasnt available back then.
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Unfortunately doing an online school wouldn't work. I work full time and there's just no way that difficult child would do it on her own. She is incredibly lazy and needs to be constantly supervised to get her work done in most areas. Reading is her strong suit and I was hoping she would be able to go into a larger class for that because she is capable of working independently in that subject. If it comes down to it, there is another school option for her in the district. They also offer the same type of program. Right now I think I am going to find an advocate and fight this. I really don't want to change schools if we don't have to. difficult child absolutely loves her math and science teacher, who also happens to be her old case carrier. Unfortunately they changed her case carrier on her the first week of school and now we have this horrid woman who is her English teacher. Oh yeah, and the bullying was brought up in the meeting, and the case carrier yet again defended the boys who were harrassing my daughter. She said the boys were just exhibiting normal high school behavior and that difficult child needs to learn how to deal with it better. She also said that difficult child was "misunderstanding" the fat jokes. For instance, while she was running the track in PE on of the boys said to her, "Run faster Allie. You don't WANNA be fat, do you?" Her case carrier said it was meant as a compliment. She just doesn't get it. And since when is throwing objects at a student and kicking around her backpack considered "typical high school behavior" that's "no big deal." I really wish we could have kept the old case carrier. He seems to really get difficult child, where as this one doesn't.
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well those could or couldnt be bullying...depending on the interpretation and how it was said. Teen boys can be idiots.
  10. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Idiots is the right word, Janet. They repeatedly call her fat, throw stuff at her, and kick her back pack out of her hands when she tries to pick it up. I have a twelve year old son, and if he ever treated a girl like that (he wouldn't) I would seriously kick his butt.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Changing case carrier without absolute necessity? Since when?

    Here... unless the case carrier is moved to a different school or retires, OR there is a huge conflict between the student and the case carrier and all sides agree to re-assign... you get the same one every year you are in the same school. It's called "continuity of care". And it is vital.

    Add that to the list of things to fight for... you want back the case carrier who actually cares about this student.
  12. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Case carrier was changed because her old one accidentally got assigned too many kids. They had to even things up a bit. So now we have this atrocious woman who I do not like at all. At least her old case carrier has her for math and science so she still has some kind of interaction with him.
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If she "accidentally" got assigned too many kids then some of those are NEW, and the NEW ones get re-assigned... not the OLD ones. (yeesh)

    I feel for you. We've had to deal with schools like these.
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Now that cases are assigned can you ask to change. Our county allows one change in x number of years. Just say you feel it is not a good match maybe?

    Disability categories are federally mandated so though the precise term may vary a little (ed vs ebd etc.) They are all the same. Criteria for service can vary but is set by states and can't be less than federal requirements ... It is illegal to place someone in a setting based on disability label. (Often happens though ) The law requires children to be placed in the least restrictive setting which by definition starts with being with typical peers. There needs to be documentation that a more restrictive setting is needed. (Not that I think all kids should be mainstreamed but the law is on your side for this one ). Oh q is coming ....gotta run ...will check layer! Hugs
  15. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I feel for you, and I wish I had some answers for you. I'm going through the same things with my easy child. Last year at the meeting to go over the academic testing that I requested be done the resource room teacher told me that easy child was "lazy" and that he was "never going to be anything better than a C student", and that was after knowing him for only 2 hours!! I can just imagine how frustrating it feels when a teacher who hasn't even met your daughter says she does not want her in her class.