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Really, really, REALLY need your help. Falling apart. Son's marriage related.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 300534" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, I went to group therapy yesterday and felt much better talking to everyone. I have a single appointment today. I love the gals in my group.</p><p></p><p>Talked to son this morning. All I did was basically listen to him, even though I was pretty angry. She is treating him like dirt, knowing he is vulnerable now and that she can get away with it. He told her that he would prefer her tell the truth to keeping secrets so she is telling him everything from how he needs to learn how to kiss to how she doesn't really like to cuddle with him all the time to how he isn't allowed to buy XXX number of CD's, and she won't tell him why. I'm convinced she's just a very controlling person who doesn't want my grandson to have anything to do with anybody on our side of the family, and I don't think it will get better, ironically, unless they divorce. I don't WANT them to divorce because it will devestate my son, but that's sadly the only way I'll be able to have a relationship with George...because then George would actually be in control of his son when he had him. I am letting go of this wish and just becoming a listener, which is what he needs and wants. I've thought of fostering, and am thinking even more of it now. I'd love to foster a very young girl. We have the room and daughter would love it. She likes children. That way I'll have a baby to fuss over, to love, to dress, to play with, and to maybe even help. And when she leaves, there can always be another little girl. But that's in the future. Right now I think I'm going to just listen to him and go with it. I can't change her, and when we cross paths, which won't be until Thanksgiving, there are other people I can talk to. I feel very sorry for my son, although he's certainly not blameless in this mess. However, he is in therapy and trying VERY hard to improve himself. She did go to therapy yesterday, but pretty much said it wasn't to save their marriage...and she doesn't want them to have any sessions together. Round and round and round this goes and where it will stop...who knows? </p><p>On top of all this, my computer pooped out and I'm on a laptop. I'm a writer and I need a computer. If my dad won't lend us the money, I won't be able to write, but he's a good man. I think he will.</p><p>To Marg: No, I don't think she's jealous of me. She doesn't like me and "feels uncomfortable" when I'm with George. Why? Because I came on too strong and he was afraid the last time I saw him. SHe's right and I won't do that again. Now HER mother is an alcoholic. She just got her license back, and there is a mandatory breathalyzer in her car. But daughter in law isn't the least bit worried or "uncomfortable" about letting HER be with George. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/faint.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":faint:" title="faint :faint:" data-shortname=":faint:" /> I think she's just really of the mindset that George is her child, she decides when he sleeps, what he eats, when my son can take him to the park, etc. He is allowed to know HER family (not son's) and George belongs to her and only she can do right by him. Everything my son tells me solidifies my belief that this is the way she thinks. My son will figure it out one day. I have to put my own hurt aside to be strong for him because, in spite of all this, he loves her and is afraid to be alone. I'm so drained.</p><p>Thanks to all of you. You're insight helped. And more comments are welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 300534, member: 1550"] Well, I went to group therapy yesterday and felt much better talking to everyone. I have a single appointment today. I love the gals in my group. Talked to son this morning. All I did was basically listen to him, even though I was pretty angry. She is treating him like dirt, knowing he is vulnerable now and that she can get away with it. He told her that he would prefer her tell the truth to keeping secrets so she is telling him everything from how he needs to learn how to kiss to how she doesn't really like to cuddle with him all the time to how he isn't allowed to buy XXX number of CD's, and she won't tell him why. I'm convinced she's just a very controlling person who doesn't want my grandson to have anything to do with anybody on our side of the family, and I don't think it will get better, ironically, unless they divorce. I don't WANT them to divorce because it will devestate my son, but that's sadly the only way I'll be able to have a relationship with George...because then George would actually be in control of his son when he had him. I am letting go of this wish and just becoming a listener, which is what he needs and wants. I've thought of fostering, and am thinking even more of it now. I'd love to foster a very young girl. We have the room and daughter would love it. She likes children. That way I'll have a baby to fuss over, to love, to dress, to play with, and to maybe even help. And when she leaves, there can always be another little girl. But that's in the future. Right now I think I'm going to just listen to him and go with it. I can't change her, and when we cross paths, which won't be until Thanksgiving, there are other people I can talk to. I feel very sorry for my son, although he's certainly not blameless in this mess. However, he is in therapy and trying VERY hard to improve himself. She did go to therapy yesterday, but pretty much said it wasn't to save their marriage...and she doesn't want them to have any sessions together. Round and round and round this goes and where it will stop...who knows? On top of all this, my computer pooped out and I'm on a laptop. I'm a writer and I need a computer. If my dad won't lend us the money, I won't be able to write, but he's a good man. I think he will. To Marg: No, I don't think she's jealous of me. She doesn't like me and "feels uncomfortable" when I'm with George. Why? Because I came on too strong and he was afraid the last time I saw him. SHe's right and I won't do that again. Now HER mother is an alcoholic. She just got her license back, and there is a mandatory breathalyzer in her car. But daughter in law isn't the least bit worried or "uncomfortable" about letting HER be with George. :knockedout: I think she's just really of the mindset that George is her child, she decides when he sleeps, what he eats, when my son can take him to the park, etc. He is allowed to know HER family (not son's) and George belongs to her and only she can do right by him. Everything my son tells me solidifies my belief that this is the way she thinks. My son will figure it out one day. I have to put my own hurt aside to be strong for him because, in spite of all this, he loves her and is afraid to be alone. I'm so drained. Thanks to all of you. You're insight helped. And more comments are welcome. [/QUOTE]
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Really, really, REALLY need your help. Falling apart. Son's marriage related.
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