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Really, really, REALLY need your help. Falling apart. Son's marriage related.
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 300551" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Sweetheart, the other gma having the breathalyzer on the car is PROOF that daughter in law comes from an alcoholic family. If at all possible your son NEEDS to go to AlAnon!!</p><p></p><p>Drag him there if you must. She will NOT like it, but it might be what saves their relationship and even if it doesn't it will make your son strong and able to handle whatever she throws at him.</p><p></p><p>Al Anon is just CRUCIAL. If daughter in law would go to an ACoA AlAnon meeting or 12 I think she would be astonished. ACoA stands for Adult Child of an alcoholic. </p><p></p><p>If you can get a copy of "the Laundry List" (<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Laundry-List-Children-Alcoholics-Experience/dp/1558741054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251295079&sr=8-1" target="_blank"> </a> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Laundry-List-Children-Alcoholics-Experience/dp/1558741054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251295079&sr=8-1" target="_blank"> The Laundry List: The Acoa (Adult Children of Alcoholics Experience)</a> by Tony A. and Dan F - you can find it on amazon for about $2.40 used).</p><p></p><p>This book is excellent at outlining the problems and sickness that you bring to your adult life as a result of being the child of an alcoholic.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter in law is very ill. Her behaviors STRONGLY suggest ACoA to me. She has to have that control over your son and her house because she is so terrified of being out of control. As a kid she probably had to help raise her parents and raise herself. It is a big load. The more she can control the safe she feels.</p><p></p><p>If YOU go to some of the AlAnon (ACoA is just one type of meeting that AlAnon offers) meetings it will help you figure out how to best keep daughter in law feeling safe enough to open up to you. </p><p></p><p>Here is a link to an episode of the old show "The Commish".( <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/87533/the-commish-do-you-see-what-i-see#x-0,vepisode,1" target="_blank">http://www.hulu.com/watch/87533/the-commish-do-you-see-what-i-see#x-0,vepisode,1</a>) In it they are trying to stop a rapist. The Commish starts out iwth the lady asking her permission to sit, to have a drink, just makes requests for everything. It is a way to help the lady feel more in control and I think the approach MIGHT make your daughter in law come around. So watch the episode and see if it might be useful for you.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I hope that in a few years you can look back on this and admire how much you like each other and how much you both love your son and grandson.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 300551, member: 1233"] Sweetheart, the other gma having the breathalyzer on the car is PROOF that daughter in law comes from an alcoholic family. If at all possible your son NEEDS to go to AlAnon!! Drag him there if you must. She will NOT like it, but it might be what saves their relationship and even if it doesn't it will make your son strong and able to handle whatever she throws at him. Al Anon is just CRUCIAL. If daughter in law would go to an ACoA AlAnon meeting or 12 I think she would be astonished. ACoA stands for Adult Child of an alcoholic. If you can get a copy of "the Laundry List" ([URL="http://www.amazon.com/Laundry-List-Children-Alcoholics-Experience/dp/1558741054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251295079&sr=8-1"] [/URL] [URL="http://www.amazon.com/Laundry-List-Children-Alcoholics-Experience/dp/1558741054/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251295079&sr=8-1"] The Laundry List: The Acoa (Adult Children of Alcoholics Experience)[/URL] by Tony A. and Dan F - you can find it on amazon for about $2.40 used). This book is excellent at outlining the problems and sickness that you bring to your adult life as a result of being the child of an alcoholic. Your daughter in law is very ill. Her behaviors STRONGLY suggest ACoA to me. She has to have that control over your son and her house because she is so terrified of being out of control. As a kid she probably had to help raise her parents and raise herself. It is a big load. The more she can control the safe she feels. If YOU go to some of the AlAnon (ACoA is just one type of meeting that AlAnon offers) meetings it will help you figure out how to best keep daughter in law feeling safe enough to open up to you. Here is a link to an episode of the old show "The Commish".( [url]http://www.hulu.com/watch/87533/the-commish-do-you-see-what-i-see#x-0,vepisode,1[/url]) In it they are trying to stop a rapist. The Commish starts out iwth the lady asking her permission to sit, to have a drink, just makes requests for everything. It is a way to help the lady feel more in control and I think the approach MIGHT make your daughter in law come around. So watch the episode and see if it might be useful for you. I hope that in a few years you can look back on this and admire how much you like each other and how much you both love your son and grandson. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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Really, really, REALLY need your help. Falling apart. Son's marriage related.
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