Really weird fender bender this morning....difficult child#1, of course!

[DDD]

You should have heard me reporting the accident. I kept saying "it is so weird"...Weird! Here's the story in a nutshell. difficult child#1 drove a friend home this morning and as he was driving down the residential street a car that he "thought" had parked in a driveway started backing out. difficult child#1 realized they had made contact but didn't have his cell phone and knew I was waiting for him at home...so he drove home to tell me about it (about ten blocks or so away). I said "go back now, give them the insurance info & come home". He drove to the house and there was no car there. The driver's passenger mirror was resting in the middle of their driveway. Wth?? So...he picked it up and came home reporting there was no one there. Sigh.

I drove to the house using his description and went to the door. A middleaged woman answered the doorbell ring and I said "pardon me but did you have a fender bender this morning?" The lady tells me no. Then she proceeds to tell me that her fiance is in ICU at the local hospital & she's trying to catch some sleep. I had noticed a scrape on the driver's side of her car so I said "there seems to be a scrape on your car and I'm wondering if that was from a minor collision this morning?" She replied "oh that? The car has had that scape for ages there was no accident here this morning." Hmm...I wonder if I have the right house.

After work I come home, pick up difficult child#1, and we drive down the street. He says "that's the house and the car". Geez. I call the insurance company and explain. The claims adjuster asks questions. I answer as best I can based on the fact that I wasn't there and difficult child#1's explanation is not complete. husband is angry that our rates "may go up". Sorry, Charlie we haven't had a claim in years and difficult child#1 hasn't had a ticket in at least five. The insurance company is going to take an "oral history" from difficult child,An adjuster is coming to check out the damage...and I can't figure out why the lady would deny that harm had come to her car. The claims adjuster asked me to write down the plate # of the alleged car. Maybe the lady thinks it is her fault? Maybe she is stressed out due to the hospital?

Every time I think I have experienced it all.....something new pops up. I am so xxxing sick of stress. DDD PS: I am not sure that difficult child#1 was "completely" sober at the time. Sigh!

 

[keista]

and I can't figure out why the lady would deny that harm had come to her car. The claims adjuster asked me to write down the plate # of the alleged car. Maybe the lady thinks it is her fault? Maybe she is stressed out due to the hospital?

Ummmmmmm, I guess you don't know this, but it IS the lady's fault. If she was backing out, she blocked the right of way. difficult child could have been speeding down the road and it was still the lady's fault. Same principle applies in parking lots. The car going down the lane has the right of way. If a car in the lane hits a car backing out, it is the backing out car's fault. Similar rules to cars parked along the side of the road. If you are parked, and open your door and someone drives by and takes out your door. Too bad, your fault.

 

[slsh]

DDD - my guess is *she* was either drunk/high, unlicensed, uninsured, illegal, or cheating. Not that I always assume the worst , but for whatever reason, she obviously didn't want police and/or insurance involved.

True story - last year, we bought a new car for the first time in 11 years. I drive van home, husband and Wee are in new car. I get home, unload Boo, am in the house, and the phone rings. It's husband - he's at a police station 2 towns over. He rear-ended someone in our brand new car (vehicle 2 cars in front of him had tire fly off, car in front of husband hit brakes, husband hit car). He had been in it less than 15 minutes. The amazing thing is that our car didn't have a scratch on it - but he said it looked like the car he hit had been hit by a bulldozer - trunk was an accordion and dragging on the road. And the driver? Took off like a bat out of Hades. In the car with the accordion trunk. So husband utilized his new GPS thingamabob and found local police station to file a report. Officer was like... bummer for the other guy, and listed the above possibilities. Didn't even take a report because it would be silly to write a report stating unknown victim of car accident had a boatload of damage to his vehicle but didn't stick around. We didn't bother calling insurance co.

I agree it was her fault if she was backing out, but to be honest, any time you can avoid accident reports and dealing with- insurance companies, it's a good day. Hopefully your car didn't have any major damage.

 

[DDD]

I wasn't there. I didn't see. Between possible (likely some) booze and brain issue difficult child may or may not "really" know what to heck happened. on the other hand it appears our insurance company didn't think it was as weird as I did and by getting the license plate number they can "be prepared" for whatever they need to do. The house was decent and well kept. The woman seemed groggy but I've been there done that with someone on the verge of death so it seemed to make sense. Her car damage was on her drivers side as was ours so I am assuming that she backed out and wiped out our mirror etc. Gee it was major strange. I'm glad our law was changed so that calling the police isn't mandatory for fender benders any more. We have gone years now with-o police contact for difficult child and all I can say is phew/whew. DDD

 

[busywend]

Sue! U do not assume the worst! LMAO!

Let it go. wonders never cease!

 

[DDD]

Amen..........I think, lol. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Wait...something isnt making sense from your recounting this!

The passenger mirror was in the driveway. That is not on the drivers side of the car. How did that get in the driveway from a fender bender leaving scratches on the drivers side. And how do both the drivers sides hit backing out? Well okay... i just put that together in my hand figures. But the only way to get to a mirror is to have her pretty far out in the road. It would be much more that a scratch and more likely a pull out than a back out.

 

[Hound dog]

I have to agree with Sue. The lady is most likely uninsured and doesn't want to get into trouble. (of course it could be other "issues" but I'm trying to give her the benefit of doubt) So she's denying an accident. How old is older? Could be some memory issues or alertness issues going on, especially if she's sleep deprived from staying in the ICU with someone.

 

[InsaneCdn]

more likely a pull out than a back out.

That's the only scenario that made sense to me, too... not that it changes who is at fault (in-flow traffic has right of way over those entering the road).

We make a game out of "figuring out accidents". You drive by something, and you can't stop and ask... so, you go home, draw it out, and see what makes sense. Sometimes, its more obvious than it appears when you first see it. Sometimes? there's got to be another factor (like a car that left the scene).

 

[buddy]

In our state it is all no-fault anyway (except rear-ending or illegal activity)...Is it not that way in other states?

I am not sure that difficult child#1 was "completely" sober at the time. Sigh!

What do you guys do about that then? He is driving your car drunk??? can you get one of those blow things for the ignition?

 

[DDD]

I must have mistyped Janet. The damage is on the driver's side of my car and that is where the mirror got knocked off. The scrape and small dent is on the driver's side of her car. So if she pulled out of her drive way with the intention of heading South and difficult child was driving down the middle of the street going North, her drivers side would have scraped along our dirver's side, bumping off our driverside outside mirror. For those drawing pictures, lol, her house is on the west side of the street. Hmmm...wish I had an etch a sketch, lol.

She may not have insurance. She may have been under the influence. She may be psyched out because of her fiance and lack of sleep. That's the insurance company's issue I guess. Regarding my "may have" comment about difficult child#1. He has been perfect about not driving while drinking (although he still is an alcoholic, of course). Not one time has he messed up. on the other hand, he did drink the night before and likely was still a little buzzed when his friend asked for the short ride home. I sent him straight back to the scene figuring natural consequences "if" he was intoxicated.
He was talking fine, walking fine, smelled fine. Just another case of "I'll never know." His short term memory is impaired and sometimes he is "sharp as a tack"..others, especially when he has not had alot of sleep it's hard to tell which issue is in place. Sigh. DDD

 

[InsaneCdn]

His short term memory is impaired and sometimes he is "sharp as a tack"..others, especially when he has not had alot of sleep it's hard to tell which issue is in place.

Sleep impairment is WORSE than just-over DUI. Sleep impairment is also WORSE than talking on a cell-phone (cell-phone is equiv to well over DUI). They just don't have a good way to measure that yet, so they don't throw the book at you for being tired.

 

[DDD]

That's one reason that he really fears roadside sobriety tests because his brain needs alot of sleep and although he looks healthy as a horse he fears he can not walk the straight line, do the nose and eye tests etc. which can, of course, get him taken to jail for the appearance of inebriation. His head bobs a bit if he's overly tired as well as when he is inebriated. Oh, well. DDD

 

[Mamaof5]

Sleep impairment is WORSE than just-over DUI. Sleep impairment is also WORSE than talking on a cell-phone (cell-phone is equiv to well over DUI). They just don't have a good way to measure that yet, so they don't throw the book at you for being tired.

This is coming from a almost 14 yrs of trucker's wife: AMEN! YES YES AND MORE YES. Sleep deprivation is more dangerous than being under the influence, talking on a cell phone or being distracted by anything else inside or outside the vehicle. Sleep deprivation is responsible for a good deal of accidents out there on the roads.