Hi there, thanks for elaborating a little more on your situation. My son is not adopted, however, there was a lot of turbulence in the early years of his life. My ex husband and I married when I was 20 and he was 21, we were both in the Army, and our marriage started unraveling while I was pregnant with thank you. We separated and I moved to Texas with my son when he was barely one year old. We were granted a divorce the same month that my thank you-Beau turned two, and for the following two years after that, my son was shuttled between my ex (who lived in Kentucky by that time) and Texas where I lived every three months because my ex did not want to give me sole custody; even though he did not help me raise our son (he literally would ignore our son and refused to help me take care of his basic needs) before we separated, he would not give me sole custody so he could make my life miserable by forcing me to give up my son to him every three months. And lord only knows what went on when he was with his birth father!
I am currently in the process of getting the Child Support Enforcement agency to get about six years in back child support from him, then I am going to use some of that money to file for sole custody...karma is a wonderful thing, sometimes!
During the times that I had him with me, his behaviors started to show to the point that every few months I would have to find another day care provider because they could not handle him. Add to that the fact that the Army is somewhat accommodating for single Moms, but not nearly enough. I also met my husband that I have now while my son was very young, and we started dating after my divorce was granted, and married not long after that. Unfortunately, my husband had to move to Korea for a year on an 'Unaccompanied short tour' and during that time, I was still dealing with my ex husband and became pregnant with our daughter while my hubby #2 was home visiting on leave.
The problems that my son is having are: extreme sensitivity to his feelings and no one else's, extreme aggression to other people and animals, inability to look people in the eye, feels more in tune with kids who are younger than him, he wants to play with younger kids because they tend to follow older kids more and not ask questions why, extreme anxiety at home and at school, constant questioning even when the answers he is looking for are right in front of him, he is a loner, he hoards odds and ends, like pencil leads, broken rubber bands, paper clips, erasers, does not give affection easily, and does not seem to want any affection given to him, seems indifferent to other people's feelings, wants what HE wants NOW!, his favorite saying is "not fair!", does not seem to make a connection between cause and effect of his actions, getting an apology out of him is like pulling teeth. If I only knew then what I know now, I would have done sooooo many things different.
My son is quite possibly a 'Radish' and I take full responsibility for my part in it. I guess the one bright spot in this is my son's step dad and my best friend and soul mate. My son thinks Tony is the Bee's Knees and so do I. He is my son's true hero and real life GI Joe doll, HAHA! As soon as my hubby gets back from training, we are petitioning the courts to have my son's last name changed to ours and adopted by his REAL Daddy. I hope and pray that will make a difference in my son's feelings of not belonging. Maybe it will make him feel more of a part of this family. Whew, that was a long story, I know! Does any of those behaviors that I listed sound familiar to you? Well, let me know what is going on in your end...I've been through Salisbury, it's a small but pretty town. I hope that some day we can leave the transient military town that we live in! Good night for now, I'll check in the morning for you in this forum!