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Relief at finding a site like this, does my situation fit?
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<blockquote data-quote="Appleseed" data-source="post: 567441" data-attributes="member: 15646"><p>HI Malika,</p><p>We don't live together because I wouldn't try and make him change, this has been the best way for him to maintain contact with everyone so far and I have no plans to move in with him because our relationship is so damaged and because I wouldn't dream of having the son in my house.</p><p></p><p>We used to have a relationship where my partner could speak to me about his sons behaviour and I could help theorise and suggest behaviour management strategies which he'd use, things would improve and then he couldn't maintain it. Either because the boy would up the ante to stop his dad being in control or because my partner was finding it hard. Now, from so much frustration of the lack of consistancy and therefore the pointlessness of me trying to help/arguing because the father hates enforcing rules and blames me/arguing because the son has undermined something between us/arguing because he's hurt my girls again etc etc so now I have nothing to do with it. 14 months of that wore me out.</p><p></p><p>Insisting on the strategies advocatd by the counsellor would be great but I can't force him to do anything as a 40 year old man who suffers low self esteem and is essentially controlled by the fear of what his son will do - OR refuses to acknowledge it.</p><p></p><p>So, I think I've pretty much established that the father and I can only really have a dating relationship whilst the son is as he is. Or, I should give it up as a bad job. I'm pretty much coming to the cut and run stage as I prepare for the babys birth.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Appleseed, post: 567441, member: 15646"] HI Malika, We don't live together because I wouldn't try and make him change, this has been the best way for him to maintain contact with everyone so far and I have no plans to move in with him because our relationship is so damaged and because I wouldn't dream of having the son in my house. We used to have a relationship where my partner could speak to me about his sons behaviour and I could help theorise and suggest behaviour management strategies which he'd use, things would improve and then he couldn't maintain it. Either because the boy would up the ante to stop his dad being in control or because my partner was finding it hard. Now, from so much frustration of the lack of consistancy and therefore the pointlessness of me trying to help/arguing because the father hates enforcing rules and blames me/arguing because the son has undermined something between us/arguing because he's hurt my girls again etc etc so now I have nothing to do with it. 14 months of that wore me out. Insisting on the strategies advocatd by the counsellor would be great but I can't force him to do anything as a 40 year old man who suffers low self esteem and is essentially controlled by the fear of what his son will do - OR refuses to acknowledge it. So, I think I've pretty much established that the father and I can only really have a dating relationship whilst the son is as he is. Or, I should give it up as a bad job. I'm pretty much coming to the cut and run stage as I prepare for the babys birth. [/QUOTE]
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Relief at finding a site like this, does my situation fit?
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