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<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 531514" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>Thank you Star. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>The only thing I am staying with my jaw wide open is the "maybe above average intelligence". I am very ill at ease about this point, because I don't think that I am that intelligent. The IQ test I did without ADHD treatment nor diagnosis showed a 120 IQ result. I was 13 yo. </p><p>I fear of another IQ test and it gives a lower result, it would mean that I deceit people with a fake intelligence. I feel like yeah, someone with a fake intelligence.... I don't live it well at all, especially since I had been with preview psychiatrist and have to fight to prove I deserve medical care (I know it's obsessional, but it's a hard feeling to leave, stuck inside and not wishing to leave). </p><p>therapist thinks that the feeling of having to prove that I deserve medical care is not delusional, even if I wish it were delusional. It would make my world somehow easier to live with....</p><p>Hard to live with, and wishing to know if I pretend to be intelligent.....</p><p>The hardest part of living with a kind of poisoned gift. </p><p></p><p>The previous psychiatrist was talking about shelter work, a center for mentally disabled persons to work in a protected environment, highly structured and such. It's more a place for manual jobs, and I am not manual at all (fine motor skills are hard for me). </p><p>I am not against this idea if I could do something that I truly enjoy. But I won't go there just because of a physician's love, just because "he thinks it is right for me" or because I am punished for a "fault" I would had commit (what did I commit by the way ? Fighting to make a law change ? It has no sense to be sent at shelter work just because I fight to make a law change and I have yet no social situation for the well-meaning-person like my previous psychiatrist). </p><p>The thing is that it's absolutely not for me. For this doctor, it's not the right stuff because of "normal, maybe above average intelligence". </p><p></p><p>Thank you for the job about monitoring shoplifters. As far as I know, we don't have such jobs here, but who knows if I create such a job in France ?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 531514, member: 14306"] Thank you Star. :) The only thing I am staying with my jaw wide open is the "maybe above average intelligence". I am very ill at ease about this point, because I don't think that I am that intelligent. The IQ test I did without ADHD treatment nor diagnosis showed a 120 IQ result. I was 13 yo. I fear of another IQ test and it gives a lower result, it would mean that I deceit people with a fake intelligence. I feel like yeah, someone with a fake intelligence.... I don't live it well at all, especially since I had been with preview psychiatrist and have to fight to prove I deserve medical care (I know it's obsessional, but it's a hard feeling to leave, stuck inside and not wishing to leave). therapist thinks that the feeling of having to prove that I deserve medical care is not delusional, even if I wish it were delusional. It would make my world somehow easier to live with.... Hard to live with, and wishing to know if I pretend to be intelligent..... The hardest part of living with a kind of poisoned gift. The previous psychiatrist was talking about shelter work, a center for mentally disabled persons to work in a protected environment, highly structured and such. It's more a place for manual jobs, and I am not manual at all (fine motor skills are hard for me). I am not against this idea if I could do something that I truly enjoy. But I won't go there just because of a physician's love, just because "he thinks it is right for me" or because I am punished for a "fault" I would had commit (what did I commit by the way ? Fighting to make a law change ? It has no sense to be sent at shelter work just because I fight to make a law change and I have yet no social situation for the well-meaning-person like my previous psychiatrist). The thing is that it's absolutely not for me. For this doctor, it's not the right stuff because of "normal, maybe above average intelligence". Thank you for the job about monitoring shoplifters. As far as I know, we don't have such jobs here, but who knows if I create such a job in France ? [/QUOTE]
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