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Results of shadowing difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 248238" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>That sounds like a very productive session. Would "sort of" accept constructive feedback? Let her know that her degree of attention to him is very good, she's fast on the ball withh im, but if she could give him more praise where appropriate, a quick word even in the tiny things, she might have even more success with him. He isn't an easy kid, but it's not something he has personal control over, he really struggles to have control and her ongoing encouragement will work wonders.</p><p></p><p>She needs to know that what she is doing is good, for most kids. But he needs a little more, simply because he is struggling so much harder and needing ongoing support and GENTLE direction.</p><p></p><p>Another point - when he has had one meltdown, a second (or subsequent) is much closer to the surface. That is why it is so important to try to prevent that first meltdown. Once it's happened, you need to back off faster and further to prevent the next. Getting to this point is to be avoided where possible (but don't feel too bad if you miss - we have to all learn to adapt, to help a child like this, and not let guiltslow us down. You make your own quiet notes and move on).</p><p></p><p>You are doing almostvexactly what we did with difficult child 3. It was my observations of his apparent inability to do any useful work while I was in the room, that had me telling the teqacher, "I think I need to stop coming in to observe." </p><p>The teacher replied, "Oh, he's always like that, whether you're here or not."</p><p>That finished me - if he wasn't able to work, how on earth could he ever learn? Year in, year out. difficult child 3 had a brilliant aide, she could prevent most meltdowns (except ones that happened due to teacher interference - other teachers, not class teacher) but for us there were too many other problems which school couldn't solve sufficiently for him to actually accomplish anything.</p><p></p><p>I think you're doing a really great thing. The teacher wanting to talk about it too - again, she's trying to really do something constructive and productive here. Pats on the back to all of you, even "sort of". Because even she is paying attention to him (judging by her fast response with him pickig up a pencil). She just needs to change her mindset to hi a little, and maybe read "Explosive Child" (or at least a summary of it).</p><p></p><p>Well done, everybody!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 248238, member: 1991"] That sounds like a very productive session. Would "sort of" accept constructive feedback? Let her know that her degree of attention to him is very good, she's fast on the ball withh im, but if she could give him more praise where appropriate, a quick word even in the tiny things, she might have even more success with him. He isn't an easy kid, but it's not something he has personal control over, he really struggles to have control and her ongoing encouragement will work wonders. She needs to know that what she is doing is good, for most kids. But he needs a little more, simply because he is struggling so much harder and needing ongoing support and GENTLE direction. Another point - when he has had one meltdown, a second (or subsequent) is much closer to the surface. That is why it is so important to try to prevent that first meltdown. Once it's happened, you need to back off faster and further to prevent the next. Getting to this point is to be avoided where possible (but don't feel too bad if you miss - we have to all learn to adapt, to help a child like this, and not let guiltslow us down. You make your own quiet notes and move on). You are doing almostvexactly what we did with difficult child 3. It was my observations of his apparent inability to do any useful work while I was in the room, that had me telling the teqacher, "I think I need to stop coming in to observe." The teacher replied, "Oh, he's always like that, whether you're here or not." That finished me - if he wasn't able to work, how on earth could he ever learn? Year in, year out. difficult child 3 had a brilliant aide, she could prevent most meltdowns (except ones that happened due to teacher interference - other teachers, not class teacher) but for us there were too many other problems which school couldn't solve sufficiently for him to actually accomplish anything. I think you're doing a really great thing. The teacher wanting to talk about it too - again, she's trying to really do something constructive and productive here. Pats on the back to all of you, even "sort of". Because even she is paying attention to him (judging by her fast response with him pickig up a pencil). She just needs to change her mindset to hi a little, and maybe read "Explosive Child" (or at least a summary of it). Well done, everybody! Marg [/QUOTE]
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