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General Parenting
Reward system, should I even bother?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 568300" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I think 5 is too young for such a vague goal as "behave in a good manner". That is to big of a concept for kids that age to grasp in a rewards system. Is difficult child going to learn that "being good" only counts when there is someone watching who will give a reward? It is frustrating for him because he doesn't know what counts and what doesn't. He will obsess and hang on to those moments he knows does count and worry about what the rules are which will get him pushing for recognition over the littlest behavior.</p><p></p><p>My guess is that the therapist wants to teach difficult child to be mindful of good behaviors. If he insists on a rewards system, I would ask that he change it to a more visible goal oriented one such as a life skills system. A "pompon" for picking up toys at the end of the day, being dressed and ready to go on time in the morning, hanging up coat, brushing teeth without being asked more then once (two ponpons if done before being asked), leaving school without a misbehaving card, helping set/clear the table, helping round up laundry, folding towels, etc. Come up with a list of things that he KNOWS will earn the ponpons instead of him wondering what being good is or trying to describe his own list of what counts. (Know what I mean??)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 568300, member: 5096"] I think 5 is too young for such a vague goal as "behave in a good manner". That is to big of a concept for kids that age to grasp in a rewards system. Is difficult child going to learn that "being good" only counts when there is someone watching who will give a reward? It is frustrating for him because he doesn't know what counts and what doesn't. He will obsess and hang on to those moments he knows does count and worry about what the rules are which will get him pushing for recognition over the littlest behavior. My guess is that the therapist wants to teach difficult child to be mindful of good behaviors. If he insists on a rewards system, I would ask that he change it to a more visible goal oriented one such as a life skills system. A "pompon" for picking up toys at the end of the day, being dressed and ready to go on time in the morning, hanging up coat, brushing teeth without being asked more then once (two ponpons if done before being asked), leaving school without a misbehaving card, helping set/clear the table, helping round up laundry, folding towels, etc. Come up with a list of things that he KNOWS will earn the ponpons instead of him wondering what being good is or trying to describe his own list of what counts. (Know what I mean??) [/QUOTE]
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Reward system, should I even bother?
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