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General Parenting
Reward system, should I even bother?
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 568318" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I agree with no need for a reward system. It will not help with the flexibility of socializing with others. That will take time. You still belong here, you just have a new challenge. Your focus had changed to the next step and I think there are people here who can explain ways to meet your newest challenge.</p><p></p><p>My input is to take the time to address each situation in a constant predictable way. (Hard to not let some things slide when you are busy). Make a plan on where and how to address the inflexible thinking. Will there be a certain place in your home to remove him to? Removing from the location helps to reduce negative feelings and see things as they really are. Out of earshot of siblings? Do you think a quiet time to think about the situation will help before talking about it? Have a list of standard questions. What were you doing before the incident? What happened? Why do you think that happened? How does that make you feel? How does that make the other person feel? Is that what you wanted to happen? What can you do or say to make everyone feel better? If you are prepared with some questions ahead of time that can be used in any situation, it will be easier for you to start the "investigation" of the situation avoiding the, "how do we even start with this one" feeling. </p><p></p><p>Maybe helping him learn about feelings is the next step? You can get a chart showing facial expressions to ask him to point to how he feels. He then learns the word to his emotion.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 568318, member: 5096"] I agree with no need for a reward system. It will not help with the flexibility of socializing with others. That will take time. You still belong here, you just have a new challenge. Your focus had changed to the next step and I think there are people here who can explain ways to meet your newest challenge. My input is to take the time to address each situation in a constant predictable way. (Hard to not let some things slide when you are busy). Make a plan on where and how to address the inflexible thinking. Will there be a certain place in your home to remove him to? Removing from the location helps to reduce negative feelings and see things as they really are. Out of earshot of siblings? Do you think a quiet time to think about the situation will help before talking about it? Have a list of standard questions. What were you doing before the incident? What happened? Why do you think that happened? How does that make you feel? How does that make the other person feel? Is that what you wanted to happen? What can you do or say to make everyone feel better? If you are prepared with some questions ahead of time that can be used in any situation, it will be easier for you to start the "investigation" of the situation avoiding the, "how do we even start with this one" feeling. Maybe helping him learn about feelings is the next step? You can get a chart showing facial expressions to ask him to point to how he feels. He then learns the word to his emotion. [/QUOTE]
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Reward system, should I even bother?
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