Rough start to the school year

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Sep 10, 2014.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So far this school year stinks. difficult child is having attendance problems again and easy child/difficult child is struggling as well. School has only been in session for seven days and difficult child has missed three and a half days. Yesterday she texted me while I was at work and told me she was once again too sick to go to school. She then texted my mom and asked her if she would take her to school later when she felt better. My mom agreed and came to my house to pick her up. When she got there difficult child was still in bed and refused to get up. She begged my mom to let her sleep in just a half hour more then take her to school when she was ready. Of course my mom absolutely refused and left.

    Due that little stunt of hers, I have taken away her lap top for a week. This morning difficult child tried to pull the same stunt, saying she felt sick to her stomach. I threatened to take the lap top away for even more time if she didn't go. She still refused. The principal found out she was missing school again, so she drove over to my house when I was at work and dragged her to school. difficult child was doing so well at the end of last year, then her best friend moved schools and now she's back to being truant. I want the school pychologist to help, but how can she when she's never at school to speak to her? I am so stressed out thinking difficult child will never graduate.

    Then there's easy child/difficult child. He goes to school without any problems but I just found out he has been lying to me about his homework. Over this past weekend I was going to have him take some work to his dad's so he could finish it there. He told me all his work in every single one of his classes was finished. That was one big great huge lie. I fond out through the school website on Monday that he is getting F's in three of his classes and he has a bunch of zeros. He has no excuse for not getting that work done. I have to drop him off at school an hour and a half before the bell rings each morning so I can make it to work on time. He claims he would prefer to do his homework early in the morning at school. Well he hasn't done crap! And now I have to take away his precious video games until he gets caught up. It's going to be a great weekend with both my kids getting their most prized possessions taken away from them, but what other choice do I have? At this rate difficult child will never graduate high school and easy child/difficult child may not graduate from eight grade. So much stress!
  2. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    I know, we are in much the same boat. At the end of the school year, things were going fairly well, seems like over the summer the clock has somehow reset. I have had to take away electronics too. difficult child is carrying an F in science exactly one week into the new year. And for what? He failed to turn in a signed safety agreement, that I completed with him and we both signed the very first night of school.
    Somehow difficult child has to get back into the school "routine" again. Sounds like the principal is willing to help, which is a good thing!
    And easy child/difficult child! yes we SO want to believe them and I for one am so resentful at having to double check everything they say, esp when it comes to completing homework! Stressful is an understatement!
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    She missed the bus again today. Ugh!! I called her at 7:45 to make sure she was getting ready and she was still asleep. The bus comes at 8:05. I told her to hurry up and get dressed and make it downstairs. My boyfriend texted me and told me she fell right back to sleep. The principal is on her way to my house right now to pick her up. She must be getting so sick of us by now. It's not her job to drive difficult child to school but she's doing it anyway. I am grateful for that but I am so frustrated with difficult child. How will she ever hold down a real job like this? Sigh...
  4. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Hi Californiablonde, I know you wrote this a month ago, ( Im barely responding to anyone right now Im sorry) Its crazy here. Instead of adding another topic from me, I searched for the same issues and this is one of the posts that came up! Im trying to be back here giving advice/support but its hard when I cant even think straight!

    I understand what your going through, my daughter hasn't missed a day of school in over 3 years, even went in sick, all sudden in new school missed 5 out of ten days allowed for the whole year! Always asleep late and hard to get up in the morning ( always been hard to get up in the morning even if bed early...takes up 2 solid straight hours of arguing with them after one or two nice tries, its loud music, banging pots and pans, constantly going back, taking away electronics and outside time etc.( son same way- miracle if they get up right away or within 30 minutes). Then once they are up, they take their time getting ready when their already late or running late. Even figured they weren't happy in their schools so Id send them to a new one. No one is going this morning so far both in bed still..again.

    I remember when I didnt go to school starting in 4th grade because of a teacher .. since then I always hated going, like an anxiety ( not saying its teacher related for yours, just me) and in middle school I was the same way as your daughter, my friends left I didnt want to go- which I regret til this day. If its because she doesnt want to sit alone or she feels alone, ask her if she and the school could let her help in the office or library or even gym, other kids programs etc to keep her busy when there, that helped me a little. But I know its still getting them there! Mine to, I don't know what to do either really. I thought of homeschooling for a whole 5 minutes and no way! Does difficult child have an IEP or 504?

    easy child, good thing is easy child is going to school, but needs a boost for homework! Also struggling with this for both mine, taking away electronics and outside time yes! Also tell him your getting a tutor might help, ( he may resent the idea ) and if he studies ok, if not you may have to hire someone to take him to get it done? Im trying this as daughter refuses tutot but waits till last minute or not at all, son ADHD .. well we know how that goes. Hugs and good luck... together we can think of something that will help.
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well since I wrote this easy child's grades are starting to improve, thank goodness. It didn't help that he was out of his Focalin for a couple weeks and couldn't get in to see the doctor for awhile. He is back on medications and is starting to make up his missed work. difficult child continues to be a struggle. She did go to school four days this week, I will give her that. Tuesday was the exception and in the morning she refused to get out of bed due to insomnia the night before. The principal drove to my house later that day and confiscated her laptop when I wasn't home. difficult child is getting her laptop back today.

    Her English teacher really upset me by calling my mom earlier this week and saying what a poor excuse of a parent I am for not making sure difficult child gets to school. Like I haven't been working my butt off to get her there! There's only so much I can do at work. difficult child has an IEP and is in all ED classes. Her teacher, having several years experience with ED kids should no better than to blame the parent of a difficult child for them not making it to school. I am very disappointed in her. difficult child's annual IEP is at the end of this month. I cannot wait to tell this teacher, who also happens to be her caseworker, a thing or two about parenting a difficult child kid. Ugh!
  6. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Once again remove your mother from their contacts! It always causes you drama

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