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Sad, Lonesome, Stressful, Worriesome LIFE
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 56840" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>I STRONGLY suggest that you contact your local Catholic Charities, YMCA, church or outreach center to find yourself a decent therapist who can help you answer that question.</p><p></p><p>When my oldest was just 5 months old, I knew something was wrong in my marriage and sought out counseling to figure out what was "wrong with ME, why did I choose men like my exH to give myself to, how did I get where I was??". To say the experience was illuminating is an understatement. I saw two counselors before I found the one I felt comfortable with best. I took my daughter with me since she was so little, but as she got older, the receptionist would watch her for me, and eventually they added a sitting service. The fees were all sliding scale based on my income at that time and because exH was such a slug - that wasn't much.</p><p></p><p>I went for approximately 18 months (had difficult child in the interim) and when I came out of it, I was stronger and felt more capable. I felt more secure in who I was and able to make a concrete decision about my (our) future. It took another year for me to finally leave and I moved into a large house with a friend of mine who was also a single parent with a little girl. Our 3 girls shared a room and we took the smaller rooms. It was very difficult, I sought out public assistance for a short while, received state aid and medicaid, but I grew stronger and the girls were happy and it worked out.</p><p></p><p>Once you are ready to make that break, with each passing day, you grow stronger and more confident. You are obviously the better parent and you have the strenght of many, your children trust you and believe in you, they come to you. Now it's time for you to believe in you. I PRAY that you find yourself a counselor who can help you find yourself again and build up your belief in yourself...help you to realize that life IS short and it could and should be better than this. We all deserve to be happy and have a moment or two by ourselves and if yours has to be court ordered, so be it.</p><p></p><p>Someone here said the thing about when you're on a flight and there is an emergency - you put the oxygen mask on YOU first, then your child. So it is with raising children across the board - you have to take care of yourself so you are better able to take care of your children. If your energy, emotion, heart, etc., are depleted, there will be nothing left for your loved ones.</p><p></p><p>Many many gentle hugs - I don't think there is one of us here who doesn't know what you feel like. At one time of another, we've all felt very lonely and isolated and have struggled. Tomorrow is a new day and each day is an opportunity to help yourself. You can do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 56840, member: 2211"] I STRONGLY suggest that you contact your local Catholic Charities, YMCA, church or outreach center to find yourself a decent therapist who can help you answer that question. When my oldest was just 5 months old, I knew something was wrong in my marriage and sought out counseling to figure out what was "wrong with ME, why did I choose men like my exH to give myself to, how did I get where I was??". To say the experience was illuminating is an understatement. I saw two counselors before I found the one I felt comfortable with best. I took my daughter with me since she was so little, but as she got older, the receptionist would watch her for me, and eventually they added a sitting service. The fees were all sliding scale based on my income at that time and because exH was such a slug - that wasn't much. I went for approximately 18 months (had difficult child in the interim) and when I came out of it, I was stronger and felt more capable. I felt more secure in who I was and able to make a concrete decision about my (our) future. It took another year for me to finally leave and I moved into a large house with a friend of mine who was also a single parent with a little girl. Our 3 girls shared a room and we took the smaller rooms. It was very difficult, I sought out public assistance for a short while, received state aid and medicaid, but I grew stronger and the girls were happy and it worked out. Once you are ready to make that break, with each passing day, you grow stronger and more confident. You are obviously the better parent and you have the strenght of many, your children trust you and believe in you, they come to you. Now it's time for you to believe in you. I PRAY that you find yourself a counselor who can help you find yourself again and build up your belief in yourself...help you to realize that life IS short and it could and should be better than this. We all deserve to be happy and have a moment or two by ourselves and if yours has to be court ordered, so be it. Someone here said the thing about when you're on a flight and there is an emergency - you put the oxygen mask on YOU first, then your child. So it is with raising children across the board - you have to take care of yourself so you are better able to take care of your children. If your energy, emotion, heart, etc., are depleted, there will be nothing left for your loved ones. Many many gentle hugs - I don't think there is one of us here who doesn't know what you feel like. At one time of another, we've all felt very lonely and isolated and have struggled. Tomorrow is a new day and each day is an opportunity to help yourself. You can do it. [/QUOTE]
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