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Substance Abuse
Saw difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 500704"><p>Ok after today i feel pretty pessimistic to tell you the truth. It became clear to us the girlfriend is back in the picture somehow!!! Everytime she is back in the picture he does not do well and he is talking now about moving back. We realize it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with her. His attitude just feels real questionable to me. He has lots of opportunities down here but he does not seem to be doing much to really help himself.</p><p></p><p>I tried to talk to him about the risks of moving back but he started to get mad. I really believe if he moves back he will end up in jail...just by doing something stupid and violating his probation...for example he is supposed to have no contact with the girlfriend! He has not paid the probation fees or done the community service yet.</p><p></p><p>He asked if we would pay for him to come up for a friends wedding. We told him after last time we would not. He then started talking about how when he went down here we told him he could always come home. I dont remember that but i told him if he came back he needed a plan. He said something about how him coming back was out of our control. I agreed with him but said if we are paying for you to come back you need a plan. He agreed with that. My husband and i talked about it later and agreed that we will not consider paying for him to come back until he is squared away witn probation which means he either has to do some major comm serv or get a paying job down here! I am not going to support something which i think will land him in jail...which is where he will be if he does not do some major act getting together stuff first.</p><p></p><p>He had a phone conversation with someone about a flob house this person could go to to get high....iffy iffy iffy.</p><p></p><p>I just feel like he is hanging out, twiddling his thumbs doing the minimum not to get kicked out. So yeah he is sober because he is drug tested every other day and breathalyzed when he comes back for the night. I have no confidence that he staying sober for himself.</p><p></p><p>We did get him a bike today from kmart. A part of me didnt want to do that but we had already agreed to so we did. So he may have taken us again for a bit but its the last time. We shall see if he gets himself a job or what happens next.</p><p></p><p>It seems like most of our difficult children have issues with drugs but also get pulled in by unhealthy relationships....sigh i am not happy with the d***** girlfriend.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 500704"] Ok after today i feel pretty pessimistic to tell you the truth. It became clear to us the girlfriend is back in the picture somehow!!! Everytime she is back in the picture he does not do well and he is talking now about moving back. We realize it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with her. His attitude just feels real questionable to me. He has lots of opportunities down here but he does not seem to be doing much to really help himself. I tried to talk to him about the risks of moving back but he started to get mad. I really believe if he moves back he will end up in jail...just by doing something stupid and violating his probation...for example he is supposed to have no contact with the girlfriend! He has not paid the probation fees or done the community service yet. He asked if we would pay for him to come up for a friends wedding. We told him after last time we would not. He then started talking about how when he went down here we told him he could always come home. I dont remember that but i told him if he came back he needed a plan. He said something about how him coming back was out of our control. I agreed with him but said if we are paying for you to come back you need a plan. He agreed with that. My husband and i talked about it later and agreed that we will not consider paying for him to come back until he is squared away witn probation which means he either has to do some major comm serv or get a paying job down here! I am not going to support something which i think will land him in jail...which is where he will be if he does not do some major act getting together stuff first. He had a phone conversation with someone about a flob house this person could go to to get high....iffy iffy iffy. I just feel like he is hanging out, twiddling his thumbs doing the minimum not to get kicked out. So yeah he is sober because he is drug tested every other day and breathalyzed when he comes back for the night. I have no confidence that he staying sober for himself. We did get him a bike today from kmart. A part of me didnt want to do that but we had already agreed to so we did. So he may have taken us again for a bit but its the last time. We shall see if he gets himself a job or what happens next. It seems like most of our difficult children have issues with drugs but also get pulled in by unhealthy relationships....sigh i am not happy with the d***** girlfriend. TL [/QUOTE]
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