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Scared and frustrated
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<blockquote data-quote="MommaR" data-source="post: 664211" data-attributes="member: 19407"><p>Thank you all SO much! I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I am reeling over all this, and trying to research and contact any and all advice and help. My sister decided it best to get me out of town for a few days as this was all weighing on me. My husband of 21 years and I are are on the brink of divorce, and I needed to unplug. I left town on Sunday to allow my husband to deal with our son in my absence. Unfortunately I felt like my husband was minimizing the issues, or at least not reacting the way I thought he should. While I was gone, he obtained an attorney for our son. Again, as you all stated my son was "saved" . My husband and son did spend some quality father/son time together, which was great, but nothing changed. Of course my husband was reporting all the positive things happening. I was actually excited that things may be turning around, but my subconscious knew better. When I returned my son was no different....high again and absent from our home. After a huge argument and separate sleeping quarters last night I decided I needed to concentrate on me. I found a Narcotics support group locally. Unfortunately they do not meet until Monday night. I began seeking employment and apartments in another city to prepare myself for what seemed inevitable. God was listening to all this and blessed me this morning. My son finally showed back to our house at 10AM. My husband began a conversation that united us again. We once again had the same lecture/conversation with our son, but this time my husband accepted no excuses. Our son was once again given a choice to continue his current path or accept help. He chose drugs. In fact, he stated drugs would always remain in his life. He states he doesn't feel he was ever truly happy until he found drugs. WOW! I am formerly a social worker and have seen kids deal with deplorable situations. This was never our lifestyle! In fact, the child never wanted for anything. He was a polite, handsome, smart child. We went on family vacations, attended every function without fail, involved in education and social life, provided a nice home, etc. </p><p></p><p>As a result of this conversation we took away his car. We told him we were never going to kick him out, but if he chose to continue to use drugs then he was choosing to live elsewhere. He packed two suitcases of clothes, computer, TV, game system, etc. He asked if I would take him to the "friends" I have grown to despise. As I was driving him there crying I told him he was ripping out my heart and soul. He apologized as always and told me he loved me. He also said he thinks this is a good thing and "it'll all work out." He said this will give him the chance to prove us wrong...that he can live this lifestyle successfully. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I drove away leaving my baby there. </p><p></p><p>Since then we made an appointment to have his car detailed to prepare it to be sold. We also placed a call to his attorney explaining that our son was now responsible for the remaining half of his retainer, which is $2500.00. Our older son returns home Sunday from studying abroad, and knows nothing of all that has occurred since he left in May. We are debating on what to tell him. </p><p></p><p>I really appreciate all your advice, comments and support!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MommaR, post: 664211, member: 19407"] Thank you all SO much! I am sorry it has taken me so long to respond. I am reeling over all this, and trying to research and contact any and all advice and help. My sister decided it best to get me out of town for a few days as this was all weighing on me. My husband of 21 years and I are are on the brink of divorce, and I needed to unplug. I left town on Sunday to allow my husband to deal with our son in my absence. Unfortunately I felt like my husband was minimizing the issues, or at least not reacting the way I thought he should. While I was gone, he obtained an attorney for our son. Again, as you all stated my son was "saved" . My husband and son did spend some quality father/son time together, which was great, but nothing changed. Of course my husband was reporting all the positive things happening. I was actually excited that things may be turning around, but my subconscious knew better. When I returned my son was no different....high again and absent from our home. After a huge argument and separate sleeping quarters last night I decided I needed to concentrate on me. I found a Narcotics support group locally. Unfortunately they do not meet until Monday night. I began seeking employment and apartments in another city to prepare myself for what seemed inevitable. God was listening to all this and blessed me this morning. My son finally showed back to our house at 10AM. My husband began a conversation that united us again. We once again had the same lecture/conversation with our son, but this time my husband accepted no excuses. Our son was once again given a choice to continue his current path or accept help. He chose drugs. In fact, he stated drugs would always remain in his life. He states he doesn't feel he was ever truly happy until he found drugs. WOW! I am formerly a social worker and have seen kids deal with deplorable situations. This was never our lifestyle! In fact, the child never wanted for anything. He was a polite, handsome, smart child. We went on family vacations, attended every function without fail, involved in education and social life, provided a nice home, etc. As a result of this conversation we took away his car. We told him we were never going to kick him out, but if he chose to continue to use drugs then he was choosing to live elsewhere. He packed two suitcases of clothes, computer, TV, game system, etc. He asked if I would take him to the "friends" I have grown to despise. As I was driving him there crying I told him he was ripping out my heart and soul. He apologized as always and told me he loved me. He also said he thinks this is a good thing and "it'll all work out." He said this will give him the chance to prove us wrong...that he can live this lifestyle successfully. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I drove away leaving my baby there. Since then we made an appointment to have his car detailed to prepare it to be sold. We also placed a call to his attorney explaining that our son was now responsible for the remaining half of his retainer, which is $2500.00. Our older son returns home Sunday from studying abroad, and knows nothing of all that has occurred since he left in May. We are debating on what to tell him. I really appreciate all your advice, comments and support! [/QUOTE]
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