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scared and tired
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 219473" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>Plan A - Fight as hard as you can to keep him from coming home. Take your other children into Child Protection and state that you fear their safety if their brother is allowed home. Ask what the county can do to help keep these kids safe. Ask how to keep this danger out of your home. If you can make this an issue of THEIR safety and not your difficult child's rights it may be easier. Or would they think that difficult child's rights are more important to these kids' safety thus remove the kids instead of difficult child? I don't know. I would hope not, however, the agency will do the easiest thing for them which would be to remove the good children instead of dealing with the dangerous one. They will want to keep difficult child as your problem.</p><p></p><p>Plan B - If difficult child absolutely has to return to your home - 1. Strip his room of EVERYTHING leaving only a bed and bedding. 2. Put house rules in writing. Go over these with those who are currently in the house and then post them in his room, in the bathroom, anywhere he will go. These rules are to include respecting each other, hands to yourself, breakfast, lunch, and supper times, what to do with laundry, ect. 3. Make a safety plan. What criteria needs to be met when the police are called? Even if you need to call the police hourly - do so at the smallest hint of danger to anyone in the house. What steps will be done to keep everyone in the house safe?</p><p>4. Do the other children understand that they can tell you if they are afraid? Sometimes we think kids will ask for help when they don't think they can. Let them know that they have to let you know whenever they are scared or frustrated or angry. 5. Document EVERYTHING. How did each day go? Who had issues with difficult child and how did difficult child contribute to those issues? </p><p></p><p>If you have a plan in place, you will feel more impowered. I truly hope you do not need Plan B but you seem to think there is that chance so you must be prepared.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong - keep yourself and everyone in the household safe.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 219473, member: 5096"] Plan A - Fight as hard as you can to keep him from coming home. Take your other children into Child Protection and state that you fear their safety if their brother is allowed home. Ask what the county can do to help keep these kids safe. Ask how to keep this danger out of your home. If you can make this an issue of THEIR safety and not your difficult child's rights it may be easier. Or would they think that difficult child's rights are more important to these kids' safety thus remove the kids instead of difficult child? I don't know. I would hope not, however, the agency will do the easiest thing for them which would be to remove the good children instead of dealing with the dangerous one. They will want to keep difficult child as your problem. Plan B - If difficult child absolutely has to return to your home - 1. Strip his room of EVERYTHING leaving only a bed and bedding. 2. Put house rules in writing. Go over these with those who are currently in the house and then post them in his room, in the bathroom, anywhere he will go. These rules are to include respecting each other, hands to yourself, breakfast, lunch, and supper times, what to do with laundry, ect. 3. Make a safety plan. What criteria needs to be met when the police are called? Even if you need to call the police hourly - do so at the smallest hint of danger to anyone in the house. What steps will be done to keep everyone in the house safe? 4. Do the other children understand that they can tell you if they are afraid? Sometimes we think kids will ask for help when they don't think they can. Let them know that they have to let you know whenever they are scared or frustrated or angry. 5. Document EVERYTHING. How did each day go? Who had issues with difficult child and how did difficult child contribute to those issues? If you have a plan in place, you will feel more impowered. I truly hope you do not need Plan B but you seem to think there is that chance so you must be prepared. Stay strong - keep yourself and everyone in the household safe. [/QUOTE]
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