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scared and tired
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 219629" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>The threat of pressing child abandonment charges is pretty common. It is CPS's way of forcing you to keep a child you cannot control. I've never heard of someone going to jail for it or even getting a criminal record but it definitely gets you into the juvenile court system. Usually, the court and CPS try to work for family reunification and it is a way to get services for your child. Definitely not the most comfortable way, but it does happen.</p><p> </p><p>Have a meeting with someone at the sheriff's office -- preferably the sheriff or at least as high up as you can get. Lay the facts down, including your son's manipulations. Where possible, back up with written and photographic proof. Ask them what you can expect when you have to call them for help. Ask that person to put it in their computer what they are up against with your son. This way, when you do have to call, you can say you talked to Officer X and this is what he said the officers who show up could do. This really saved me from being arrested a couple of times when my child screamed abuse.</p><p> </p><p>I wish there were some easy answers for parents in your situation but there aren't. CPS doesn't want the responsibility for a child who isn't abused or neglected -- they have too many in the system who are in physical danger in their homes. They really aren't geared to deal with children who abuse their parents or who are out of control because of mental illness or otherwise. These kids and their parents are in a special, hellish limbo. </p><p> </p><p>I begged for relief from CPS, the adoption agency, everyone I could think of. I was told there was nothing unless I was abusing her. I actually took her to CPS and demanded they take her for a period of time so that I could get my life together. I couldn't help her any more. I was crying hysterically and just thinking about it causes the tears to rise. The only thing it got me was a weekend where she stayed in a teen respite place and had a ball; required parenting classes that were a farce; a year of court battles before the judge saw that I really was desparate but there was nothing he could do unless I was willing to truly abandon her or declare her an unruly child. Either way, I would have lost my daughter permanently. This was not an acceptable option.</p><p> </p><p>What ultimately worked for was an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). If nothing else, it gave me two years to regroup and give me the strength to keep fighting for her. I cashed in every retirement plan I had, sold all of my stocks, took a second on my home and paid for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for my daughter. I could find no financial aid either through the schools or the government.</p><p> </p><p>Do protect yourself the best you can. Get the Sheriff on your side. Keep CPS and the courts available as much as possible. Don't let them bully you. Right now, you don't have a son except in name only. I wish there was something positive I could say. I wish there was something that could be done to help you. The best I think most of us can offer you is warm arms and tender thoughts. We understand and we're pulling for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 219629, member: 3626"] The threat of pressing child abandonment charges is pretty common. It is CPS's way of forcing you to keep a child you cannot control. I've never heard of someone going to jail for it or even getting a criminal record but it definitely gets you into the juvenile court system. Usually, the court and CPS try to work for family reunification and it is a way to get services for your child. Definitely not the most comfortable way, but it does happen. Have a meeting with someone at the sheriff's office -- preferably the sheriff or at least as high up as you can get. Lay the facts down, including your son's manipulations. Where possible, back up with written and photographic proof. Ask them what you can expect when you have to call them for help. Ask that person to put it in their computer what they are up against with your son. This way, when you do have to call, you can say you talked to Officer X and this is what he said the officers who show up could do. This really saved me from being arrested a couple of times when my child screamed abuse. I wish there were some easy answers for parents in your situation but there aren't. CPS doesn't want the responsibility for a child who isn't abused or neglected -- they have too many in the system who are in physical danger in their homes. They really aren't geared to deal with children who abuse their parents or who are out of control because of mental illness or otherwise. These kids and their parents are in a special, hellish limbo. I begged for relief from CPS, the adoption agency, everyone I could think of. I was told there was nothing unless I was abusing her. I actually took her to CPS and demanded they take her for a period of time so that I could get my life together. I couldn't help her any more. I was crying hysterically and just thinking about it causes the tears to rise. The only thing it got me was a weekend where she stayed in a teen respite place and had a ball; required parenting classes that were a farce; a year of court battles before the judge saw that I really was desparate but there was nothing he could do unless I was willing to truly abandon her or declare her an unruly child. Either way, I would have lost my daughter permanently. This was not an acceptable option. What ultimately worked for was an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). If nothing else, it gave me two years to regroup and give me the strength to keep fighting for her. I cashed in every retirement plan I had, sold all of my stocks, took a second on my home and paid for the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for my daughter. I could find no financial aid either through the schools or the government. Do protect yourself the best you can. Get the Sheriff on your side. Keep CPS and the courts available as much as possible. Don't let them bully you. Right now, you don't have a son except in name only. I wish there was something positive I could say. I wish there was something that could be done to help you. The best I think most of us can offer you is warm arms and tender thoughts. We understand and we're pulling for you. [/QUOTE]
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