Hi there..first i'd like to thank anyone for any insight or help i can get here and apologize for the length.My 15 year old daughter took a razor blade to her neck(5 long cuts)half the length of her left arm and her leg.She also took 15-20 of her doctor prescribed Wellbutrin in an effort to kill herself.This happened while i was 10 hrs away in GA visiting family.When i got the call,my 19 year old daughter and i raced back to our hometown all the while with me constantly on the phone talking to the police,her stepdad (we've been divorced for 7 years but he's still in my kids lives)and trying to hold it together.My husband now of 5 years and 21 yr old son were at the house when this happened with no clue of anything that was going on until the police showed up.The police were called by a friend of my daughter's who immediately called 911 when she found out (by FaceTime)what my teen had done.My daughter was transferred to a CHKD where i stayed by her bedside for a week,watched her hallucinate,be combative and act like ive never seen her before.The doctor said she had been (a tin-foil width)away from cutting her main artery and bleeding out and it wasn't a cry for help,she really was trying to die.After a week she was transferred to a teen(behavioral center)and she was also there for a week.My daughter has been in therapy for the last 2 years for anxiety and depression but her and i have ALWAYS been super close,she's has always been very loving,never argumentative and a sweet girl.Her father passed away 2 yrs ago and i believe her step-dad and i divorcing years ago and her having to change schools ofcourse played a massive part in this but this suicide attempt COMPLETELY came out of NOWHERE.She had been on 3 different medications the last 4 months (Prozac,Zoloft and Wellbutrin)which her therapist and pediatrician finally talked me into starting her on because i hadn't wanted her to be on any medication.Was it the anti-depressants that caused her to flip,we don't know.I asked my daughter what caused her to try to take her life and she said it was a snap decision but she had been thinking about it for the past few years.I had no idea about this at all.She's been back home for two weeks now and the first week was great,she wanted to be downstairs with me and the family BUT the last 2 days she's reverted back to wanting to sleep all day and be up all night.Because my daughter has been home-schooled for the past 2 years the only friends she has are the ones online.Upon her coming home i had planned to take away her computer to only allow her to be on it downstairs and for an hour a day.I had told her about this the 2 weeks she was in the hospital and she told me over and over that if i did that she would try and kill herself again because her online friendships meant everything to her.I gave in completely terrified she would act on it.I never in a millions years thought she would try to kill herself so i don't know what to do.I changed her doorknob so there's no lock now,ive permanently hidden any medications in our house and have anything sharp in the house on a "check-out and bring back promptly)basis.I check in on her constantly,can't sleep at night, always worried and now that shes gone back to her "sleep all day,up all night"routine i feel as if i'm completely powerless and scared.When ive tried to talk to her about my worries and concerns she tells me to stop,she's fine and that she just wants to put her suicide attempt "behind her and not think about it."I know and acknowledge that ive allowed her the upper hand but i don't know how to deal with this.I'm always worried about upsetting her,terrified that she'll do what she tried before but succeed this time.She needs limits and discipline but i don't know how to do it without a massive blowout,fighting and her trying to kill herself.Shes been seeing a "crisis Stabilization therapist"and a psychologist but she refuses to participate saying theres no reason for her to be there because "she's fine".We've got her volunteering at the local SPCA and other activities to get her out of the house when we can.Im scared to death,have noone to talk to about this because they'll tell me to put my foot down but i can't,im to scared and i just don't know what to do.I go to my laundry room and cry constantly so noone will see me and try to be upbeat for the rest of my family.I know i sound weak and the crazy part about this im not a weak person at all but this has completely altered my world.I feel like a complete failure as a mother even tho ive always tried to make my children the center of my world.My two other kids(19 and 21 are happy,well-adjusted and work and go to college.)I just don't understand what i did wrong with my 15 year old...Again im so sorry for the length of this but i desperately need help and have nowhere to turn.Thank you so much.