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<blockquote data-quote="Farmwife" data-source="post: 372869" data-attributes="member: 8617"><p>Congrats on the baby. It is supposed to be a happy time so I totally empathize with your situation. I am pregnant with a surprise after we felt done too. My mother in law was shocked at first but everyone is excited now. I hope everything goes smoothly for you when youd decide to tell everyone. Pregnancy is a stressful time for some mom's because of natural worries and those lovely hormones. It is natural to be concerned, totally normal for anyone. It's a big life change even when planned. </p><p> </p><p>As for the 3 1/2 year old injuring the fetus, I doubt it is likely. I don't have a link but recall a website I read that was a doctor addressing a Moms concern because she had fallen on her belly. The gist of it was that a baby is very well insulated and it takes quite a forceful blow to injure them, a blow that would injure Mom as well such as in a major car accident. You should ask your ob doctor to make sure. Althought your difficult child should not be allowed to kick at or hit you I don't think the risk of injury is as likely as you may fear. I would suggest some sort of rooming in or co sleeping arrangement until your difficult child gets over the normal new baby sibling rivalry that all youngsters deal with. My difficult child is 16 and I went through this with him, he did well but having a baby monitor in baby's room along with a lock on the door bought me piece of mind and some sleep. difficult child would never hurt baby diva and is excited about the one on the way but sometimes when he is having an episode the lock and monitor just help me feel more secure anyway.</p><p> </p><p>My baby is very active and rough plays a lot so I have concerns when my new one comes home. At 18 months she is far from a difficult child, just a busy kid who doesn't know her own strength. Our plan is to get one of those portable plastic play yards to put the new baby's swing or bouncer in. That way we have a barrier between the two if I happent to get up for some reason like filling a bottle or answering the phone.</p><p> </p><p>Lastly, I have read that if the new baby comes home with a special gift for the siblings it helps make them get welcomed. Maybe a cute note with To: difficult child from: your new baby brother or sister. Even though difficult child is young maybe he will feel important if you include him by letting him show how grown up he is by helping hold a bottle. Maybe even consider introducing the baby to people as difficult child's baby borther or sister instead of just by their own name. I think the most important thing is for difficult child not to feel left out or replaced. It's amazing how fast a jealous sibling becomes a protective "jr. parent". I also try to remind my difficult child of cute things he did when he was the same age so he can feel special too. (I know he's older than your difficult child but it really helped)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Farmwife, post: 372869, member: 8617"] Congrats on the baby. It is supposed to be a happy time so I totally empathize with your situation. I am pregnant with a surprise after we felt done too. My mother in law was shocked at first but everyone is excited now. I hope everything goes smoothly for you when youd decide to tell everyone. Pregnancy is a stressful time for some mom's because of natural worries and those lovely hormones. It is natural to be concerned, totally normal for anyone. It's a big life change even when planned. As for the 3 1/2 year old injuring the fetus, I doubt it is likely. I don't have a link but recall a website I read that was a doctor addressing a Moms concern because she had fallen on her belly. The gist of it was that a baby is very well insulated and it takes quite a forceful blow to injure them, a blow that would injure Mom as well such as in a major car accident. You should ask your ob doctor to make sure. Althought your difficult child should not be allowed to kick at or hit you I don't think the risk of injury is as likely as you may fear. I would suggest some sort of rooming in or co sleeping arrangement until your difficult child gets over the normal new baby sibling rivalry that all youngsters deal with. My difficult child is 16 and I went through this with him, he did well but having a baby monitor in baby's room along with a lock on the door bought me piece of mind and some sleep. difficult child would never hurt baby diva and is excited about the one on the way but sometimes when he is having an episode the lock and monitor just help me feel more secure anyway. My baby is very active and rough plays a lot so I have concerns when my new one comes home. At 18 months she is far from a difficult child, just a busy kid who doesn't know her own strength. Our plan is to get one of those portable plastic play yards to put the new baby's swing or bouncer in. That way we have a barrier between the two if I happent to get up for some reason like filling a bottle or answering the phone. Lastly, I have read that if the new baby comes home with a special gift for the siblings it helps make them get welcomed. Maybe a cute note with To: difficult child from: your new baby brother or sister. Even though difficult child is young maybe he will feel important if you include him by letting him show how grown up he is by helping hold a bottle. Maybe even consider introducing the baby to people as difficult child's baby borther or sister instead of just by their own name. I think the most important thing is for difficult child not to feel left out or replaced. It's amazing how fast a jealous sibling becomes a protective "jr. parent". I also try to remind my difficult child of cute things he did when he was the same age so he can feel special too. (I know he's older than your difficult child but it really helped) [/QUOTE]
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