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School meeting again tomorrow am
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 83283" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Kjs, you did brilliantly.</p><p></p><p>As for the compromise _ the truth is somewhere between the teachers and difficult child" - sorry, that's a cop-out from the principal. You've already demonstrated that when challenged, the truth generally has turned out to match what difficult child has said. The worst he seems to have ever done here was to lie by omission, he has not at any stage said something happened which didn't. And if that VP gets up YOUR nose, and you're a rational, reasonable adult - then what the H is he doing to difficult child when there are not witnesses? And following which, he then suspends him?</p><p></p><p>You need to keep kicking rear ends. In writing - follow up the meeting with your own record. You can take your post here and modify it slightly, in your letter to Principal - "dear Ms Y, thank you for agreeing to see me in today's meeting. I found it very helpful. We discussed the following..." and the above outline, with any emotion removed. You then take the questions you still have and put them in, bang bang bang. "I am at a loss as to why you question my 'motive' for wanting to observe difficult child in class - what motive could I have, other than to see how my child interacts and possibly identify any issues in his behaviour which I can, with this more specific personal observation, work on at home in order to better support the school?"</p><p>Or "I made it very clear that difficult child was to be in class and not kept out of the room. Can you please explain to me why he was not in class, and also why I was not notified as stipulated in the IEP? My work hours were not at issue there; this stipulation is in the IEP for very good reason and we have already had a great deal of difficulty to dare this school year, through failure to follow the IEP (and even failure to acknowledge the existence of the IEP). This IEP is law, it is not a wish list. I will do whatever I must, in order to ensure it is followed to the letter."</p><p></p><p>Finish the letter with, "Thank you for your support and cooperation in this." Because you are thanking her IN ANTICIPATION of her being cooperative and supportive, you are giving her a chance to do the right thing and making it clear you are a generous and reasonable person (in contrast to the VP).</p><p></p><p>And always bear in mind as you write the letter - you want it to look acceptable to any person higher up the ladder (right up to congressman and media representative) should you ever have to take matters up higher. You want it to look good in court, should you decide to sue them in a few years' time. Even if you have absolutely no intention of ever doing this, make it look good enough to use there anyway, because that is the sort of letter which will get results.</p><p></p><p>And if you REALLY want to get nasty, don't email the letter; fax it. because if you fax it, THEY have to pay for the paper! Plus, they automatically have it in hard copy on their desks.</p><p></p><p>Having a "cc to..." at the end, with a short list of important but relevant people, is also very useful.</p><p></p><p>Good luck - carry on, you're doing great. Meanwhile, if you're having trouble helping difficult child with maths, I know a good (cheap) website he could join to get some really useful assistance. There could be similar ones in the US, or there could be cheap computer software to help. By "cheap" I mean under $100. And if you do this, next time he's missing school let him come home as long as he puts in the work on the computer to study and revise. The best revenge is success, especially when you can legitimately refuse to give the school any credit.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 83283, member: 1991"] Kjs, you did brilliantly. As for the compromise _ the truth is somewhere between the teachers and difficult child" - sorry, that's a cop-out from the principal. You've already demonstrated that when challenged, the truth generally has turned out to match what difficult child has said. The worst he seems to have ever done here was to lie by omission, he has not at any stage said something happened which didn't. And if that VP gets up YOUR nose, and you're a rational, reasonable adult - then what the H is he doing to difficult child when there are not witnesses? And following which, he then suspends him? You need to keep kicking rear ends. In writing - follow up the meeting with your own record. You can take your post here and modify it slightly, in your letter to Principal - "dear Ms Y, thank you for agreeing to see me in today's meeting. I found it very helpful. We discussed the following..." and the above outline, with any emotion removed. You then take the questions you still have and put them in, bang bang bang. "I am at a loss as to why you question my 'motive' for wanting to observe difficult child in class - what motive could I have, other than to see how my child interacts and possibly identify any issues in his behaviour which I can, with this more specific personal observation, work on at home in order to better support the school?" Or "I made it very clear that difficult child was to be in class and not kept out of the room. Can you please explain to me why he was not in class, and also why I was not notified as stipulated in the IEP? My work hours were not at issue there; this stipulation is in the IEP for very good reason and we have already had a great deal of difficulty to dare this school year, through failure to follow the IEP (and even failure to acknowledge the existence of the IEP). This IEP is law, it is not a wish list. I will do whatever I must, in order to ensure it is followed to the letter." Finish the letter with, "Thank you for your support and cooperation in this." Because you are thanking her IN ANTICIPATION of her being cooperative and supportive, you are giving her a chance to do the right thing and making it clear you are a generous and reasonable person (in contrast to the VP). And always bear in mind as you write the letter - you want it to look acceptable to any person higher up the ladder (right up to congressman and media representative) should you ever have to take matters up higher. You want it to look good in court, should you decide to sue them in a few years' time. Even if you have absolutely no intention of ever doing this, make it look good enough to use there anyway, because that is the sort of letter which will get results. And if you REALLY want to get nasty, don't email the letter; fax it. because if you fax it, THEY have to pay for the paper! Plus, they automatically have it in hard copy on their desks. Having a "cc to..." at the end, with a short list of important but relevant people, is also very useful. Good luck - carry on, you're doing great. Meanwhile, if you're having trouble helping difficult child with maths, I know a good (cheap) website he could join to get some really useful assistance. There could be similar ones in the US, or there could be cheap computer software to help. By "cheap" I mean under $100. And if you do this, next time he's missing school let him come home as long as he puts in the work on the computer to study and revise. The best revenge is success, especially when you can legitimately refuse to give the school any credit. Marg [/QUOTE]
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