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Parent Emeritus
Seeking advice on eviction or rental
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<blockquote data-quote="elizabrary" data-source="post: 410351" data-attributes="member: 11235"><p>As I read all of this my biggest concern is the physical and mental safety of you and the rest of your family. Your daughter has been holding your family hostage and that has to stop. I'm no expert at detachment, but I've become much better at it and I have found that when I start focusing on myself and my own health and well-being, rather than the health and well-being of my difficult child, I feel much better and am able to start to see the situation more objectively. When I find myself getting sucked into my daughter's insanity I stop and ask myself if I would let anyone else treat me this way- usually the answer is no, so I have to hang up the phone, walk away, whatever. When I am about to do something to "help" her I ask myself if this is something she can do on her own if she chooses- the answer is nearly always yes, so again I have to step out of the situation. It is hard and it has taken me years to get to this point, but right now I am the healthiest, most peaceful I have ever been. And yes, I do worry about her all the time, but that doesn't mean I should enable her or risk my own health and happiness. </p><p> </p><p>I know how hard this is. Hang in there and do something nice for yourself!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="elizabrary, post: 410351, member: 11235"] As I read all of this my biggest concern is the physical and mental safety of you and the rest of your family. Your daughter has been holding your family hostage and that has to stop. I'm no expert at detachment, but I've become much better at it and I have found that when I start focusing on myself and my own health and well-being, rather than the health and well-being of my difficult child, I feel much better and am able to start to see the situation more objectively. When I find myself getting sucked into my daughter's insanity I stop and ask myself if I would let anyone else treat me this way- usually the answer is no, so I have to hang up the phone, walk away, whatever. When I am about to do something to "help" her I ask myself if this is something she can do on her own if she chooses- the answer is nearly always yes, so again I have to step out of the situation. It is hard and it has taken me years to get to this point, but right now I am the healthiest, most peaceful I have ever been. And yes, I do worry about her all the time, but that doesn't mean I should enable her or risk my own health and happiness. I know how hard this is. Hang in there and do something nice for yourself! [/QUOTE]
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