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semi crisis with difficult child at school
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<blockquote data-quote="threebabygirls" data-source="post: 199984" data-attributes="member: 5670"><p>Thanks, all. I stood firm in my refusal to take away soccer, and husband relented. He said if I thought it was too much, then he was fine with it.</p><p> </p><p>When I picked the kids up this afternoon, difficult child's teacher walked her out to the bus and pulled me aside. After difficult child returned to class this morning, her teacher tried discussing it with her, and difficult child lied repeatedly about it. She had several version as to what went on and at one point even claimed I gave the girls the pills. So, she got a pink slip for lying to the teacher. Her teacher gave her the benefit of the doubt, gave her numerous chances to come clean and difficult child wouldn't (or couldn't. I can only imagine the stress she was feeling; kind of like a rat in a trap).</p><p>When we got home I calmly talked with her about why she did everything she did. Not surprisingly, she's still denying most of it, especially the lying to the teacher. She admitted giving the girls the pills and adamantly stated she gave them to no one else. I explained how her friends could have gotten very ill, and why she should never give away or take pills from anyone else but me, the doctor or the nurse at school.</p><p>As to why she took my pillbox in the first place, that's simple. It's pretty, girly, and sparkly, and she wanted it. Yes, it's that simple. She frequently covets other's possessions, especially my "fancy" stuff. As far as medications are concerned, I truly believe she is an unconscious self-medicating person. She's always asking for some sort of remedy. I've told her COUNTLESS times that if a person takes medicine when it is not needed, it can harm them rather than help. I obviously use more kid-friendly terms, but I've told her numerous times. Over and over again, whenever she asks for medications I KNOW she doesn't need. And, with her obsession with pills, she's always asking me why I take mine. I've told her it's to help me from getting really sick (how do you describe a major depressive disorder to a 6 year old?). I don't know. Maybe that is a wrong choice of words.</p><p>I agree with smallworld that it was also an effort to impress the other girls. She struggles with making and keeping friends (another of several things that break my heart for her).</p><p>As far as her punishment goes, I didn't suggest anything to her. I asked her what she thought was appropriate, given the severity of it all, and she said she needs her MP3 player and her CD player taken away. So, that's what it will be. It won't be for as long as husband thinks is necessary, but just to get her attention. I'm hoping the embarassment of being called to the prinicipal's office and being scolded in front of the other parents, as well as the apology notes will be deterrent enough. I remember being mortified when forced to apologize for an infraction I committed years and years ago. Never did it again, either. Hopefully it works for difficult child as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="threebabygirls, post: 199984, member: 5670"] Thanks, all. I stood firm in my refusal to take away soccer, and husband relented. He said if I thought it was too much, then he was fine with it. When I picked the kids up this afternoon, difficult child's teacher walked her out to the bus and pulled me aside. After difficult child returned to class this morning, her teacher tried discussing it with her, and difficult child lied repeatedly about it. She had several version as to what went on and at one point even claimed I gave the girls the pills. So, she got a pink slip for lying to the teacher. Her teacher gave her the benefit of the doubt, gave her numerous chances to come clean and difficult child wouldn't (or couldn't. I can only imagine the stress she was feeling; kind of like a rat in a trap). When we got home I calmly talked with her about why she did everything she did. Not surprisingly, she's still denying most of it, especially the lying to the teacher. She admitted giving the girls the pills and adamantly stated she gave them to no one else. I explained how her friends could have gotten very ill, and why she should never give away or take pills from anyone else but me, the doctor or the nurse at school. As to why she took my pillbox in the first place, that's simple. It's pretty, girly, and sparkly, and she wanted it. Yes, it's that simple. She frequently covets other's possessions, especially my "fancy" stuff. As far as medications are concerned, I truly believe she is an unconscious self-medicating person. She's always asking for some sort of remedy. I've told her COUNTLESS times that if a person takes medicine when it is not needed, it can harm them rather than help. I obviously use more kid-friendly terms, but I've told her numerous times. Over and over again, whenever she asks for medications I KNOW she doesn't need. And, with her obsession with pills, she's always asking me why I take mine. I've told her it's to help me from getting really sick (how do you describe a major depressive disorder to a 6 year old?). I don't know. Maybe that is a wrong choice of words. I agree with smallworld that it was also an effort to impress the other girls. She struggles with making and keeping friends (another of several things that break my heart for her). As far as her punishment goes, I didn't suggest anything to her. I asked her what she thought was appropriate, given the severity of it all, and she said she needs her MP3 player and her CD player taken away. So, that's what it will be. It won't be for as long as husband thinks is necessary, but just to get her attention. I'm hoping the embarassment of being called to the prinicipal's office and being scolded in front of the other parents, as well as the apology notes will be deterrent enough. I remember being mortified when forced to apologize for an infraction I committed years and years ago. Never did it again, either. Hopefully it works for difficult child as well. [/QUOTE]
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