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General Parenting
Sending son to rehab and then boarding school
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 511614" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You have completely done the right thing here, and your difficult child is truly blessed. Please do NOT buy into the "he will hate me forever" koi. He won't. We went through very hard times with my difficult child and he truly understands that all of the decisions were made to ensure the best possible future for ALL of our children. He does NOT hate us. My brother "hated" my parents for not bailing him out of jail and then for insisting that rehab was the ONLY way they would help him with his legal problems. By the time his 30 days were up he was truly grateful for those 2 weeks in jail and for the rehab and the chance to have his felonies expunged if he could stay sober and out of trouble for a period of years. Why grateful for jail? Because it helped him to see where he would be if he didn't grab onto this chance at rehab and cling to it like tick on a dog's neck. </p><p></p><p>Please take this time to get help and some treatment for yourself and your husband and your other child. PLEASE go to some alanon meetings or narcanon meetings. Addiction is a family disease and if a member is using then ALL members need help. An addict who's family gets help and treatment has a 30% greater chance at staying sober vs an addict who's family does not get help. If your son needed you to go to a meeting for an hour once a week to get an A rather than a D, woud you do it? This is what going to meetings and getting some help will do for your child. </p><p></p><p>You have given your son a wonderful gift by sending him to rehab and boarding school. I hope he can recognize it and grasp it and use it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 511614, member: 1233"] You have completely done the right thing here, and your difficult child is truly blessed. Please do NOT buy into the "he will hate me forever" koi. He won't. We went through very hard times with my difficult child and he truly understands that all of the decisions were made to ensure the best possible future for ALL of our children. He does NOT hate us. My brother "hated" my parents for not bailing him out of jail and then for insisting that rehab was the ONLY way they would help him with his legal problems. By the time his 30 days were up he was truly grateful for those 2 weeks in jail and for the rehab and the chance to have his felonies expunged if he could stay sober and out of trouble for a period of years. Why grateful for jail? Because it helped him to see where he would be if he didn't grab onto this chance at rehab and cling to it like tick on a dog's neck. Please take this time to get help and some treatment for yourself and your husband and your other child. PLEASE go to some alanon meetings or narcanon meetings. Addiction is a family disease and if a member is using then ALL members need help. An addict who's family gets help and treatment has a 30% greater chance at staying sober vs an addict who's family does not get help. If your son needed you to go to a meeting for an hour once a week to get an A rather than a D, woud you do it? This is what going to meetings and getting some help will do for your child. You have given your son a wonderful gift by sending him to rehab and boarding school. I hope he can recognize it and grasp it and use it! [/QUOTE]
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