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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 173459" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I truly understand your going to see him. I know that no matter how hard it would be, I would see my daughter. I would want to give her what comfort I could, let her know that I was still her mother and that I loved her. So, I'm probably the oddball on this way, but I totally agree with you seeing him.</p><p> </p><p>I also think Witz is right that you simply should have told him "no" when he asked about coming home. I can only imagine how hard that no would be to get out -- I know how hard it was for me to tell mine that she couldn't come home when her friends had had enough of her behavior. It hurt. I felt like I was tearing my heart out. When I got off the phone, I sobbed for 3 hours non-stop. At the same time, I knew it was what I had to say. She could not treat our home as a revolving door in between "friends." She needed to understand that coming truly meant following the rules and that if the rules were broken, she would be moving out (which is what ultimately happened).</p><p> </p><p>Your son needs to know that so long as he is using drugs, does not complete an in-patient rehab program, he cannot come home. Like my daughter, he needs to hear it. They are two that need things explicity spelled out. Anything less gives them an excuse to interpret things their own way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 173459, member: 3626"] I truly understand your going to see him. I know that no matter how hard it would be, I would see my daughter. I would want to give her what comfort I could, let her know that I was still her mother and that I loved her. So, I'm probably the oddball on this way, but I totally agree with you seeing him. I also think Witz is right that you simply should have told him "no" when he asked about coming home. I can only imagine how hard that no would be to get out -- I know how hard it was for me to tell mine that she couldn't come home when her friends had had enough of her behavior. It hurt. I felt like I was tearing my heart out. When I got off the phone, I sobbed for 3 hours non-stop. At the same time, I knew it was what I had to say. She could not treat our home as a revolving door in between "friends." She needed to understand that coming truly meant following the rules and that if the rules were broken, she would be moving out (which is what ultimately happened). Your son needs to know that so long as he is using drugs, does not complete an in-patient rehab program, he cannot come home. Like my daughter, he needs to hear it. They are two that need things explicity spelled out. Anything less gives them an excuse to interpret things their own way. [/QUOTE]
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