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she blew
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 423971" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>See, I figured prom is now. I see that it is. </p><p></p><p>No way can she "fix" anything that fast. Her medications aren't even going to kick in that fast. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps, if she's lucky she can arrange appointments and the like.......But you have no way of knowing if she's going to follow through. Once this desire is met, she may take another nose dive on you. </p><p></p><p>So I have to ask. Who's footing the bill on prom? If it's you......well it's up to you. But I wouldn't and didn't.</p><p></p><p>What I did for Nichole? I made sure she made it to doctor appointments. I was her sounding board. The rest? She did all by herself. </p><p></p><p>Prom: she found a way to have a dress (a friend loaned an extra to her), easy child did her hair and make up, boyfriend bought the tickets and provided transportation.</p><p></p><p>Drivers License: Nichole found someone to teach her and let them use their car to learn (boyfriend's dad). Nichole got the book, found out what she needed for the exam ect. Paid for her exam ect.</p><p></p><p>Graduation: She did all school stuff. </p><p></p><p>Treatment: Nichole made all appointments with docs, was up to her to remember them and to remind me so I could take her.</p><p></p><p>Working: Nichole had to find a way to get a car or to have transportation, insurance, sitter for Aubrey ect</p><p></p><p>On top of this she handle welfare, WIC, and child support for Aubrey, as well as mothering Aubrey.</p><p></p><p>The more she does for herself, the better. The less you do for her, the better. You should be her support system at this age. She should be the one doing all the work. </p><p></p><p>So if you already said you'd do prom, then don't go back on your word. Nothing you can do about that now. Only thing I'm thinking is that while she might have meant what she said at the time.......when you are the one that makes one of her goals happen, it isn't really her goal anymore. Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>If it had been me and Nichole. I'd have said, well honey prom is sort of messed up, but let's look forward at what you can do toward your other goals.</p><p></p><p>You have to refocus that she is not a child anymore. She is an adult. Hard to do at first, I know.</p><p></p><p>Hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 423971, member: 84"] See, I figured prom is now. I see that it is. No way can she "fix" anything that fast. Her medications aren't even going to kick in that fast. Perhaps, if she's lucky she can arrange appointments and the like.......But you have no way of knowing if she's going to follow through. Once this desire is met, she may take another nose dive on you. So I have to ask. Who's footing the bill on prom? If it's you......well it's up to you. But I wouldn't and didn't. What I did for Nichole? I made sure she made it to doctor appointments. I was her sounding board. The rest? She did all by herself. Prom: she found a way to have a dress (a friend loaned an extra to her), easy child did her hair and make up, boyfriend bought the tickets and provided transportation. Drivers License: Nichole found someone to teach her and let them use their car to learn (boyfriend's dad). Nichole got the book, found out what she needed for the exam ect. Paid for her exam ect. Graduation: She did all school stuff. Treatment: Nichole made all appointments with docs, was up to her to remember them and to remind me so I could take her. Working: Nichole had to find a way to get a car or to have transportation, insurance, sitter for Aubrey ect On top of this she handle welfare, WIC, and child support for Aubrey, as well as mothering Aubrey. The more she does for herself, the better. The less you do for her, the better. You should be her support system at this age. She should be the one doing all the work. So if you already said you'd do prom, then don't go back on your word. Nothing you can do about that now. Only thing I'm thinking is that while she might have meant what she said at the time.......when you are the one that makes one of her goals happen, it isn't really her goal anymore. Know what I mean?? If it had been me and Nichole. I'd have said, well honey prom is sort of messed up, but let's look forward at what you can do toward your other goals. You have to refocus that she is not a child anymore. She is an adult. Hard to do at first, I know. Hugs [/QUOTE]
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