She came up with a solution

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    Becky came home from school yesterday limping. She walked to school, around school, and home in three inch winter boots(she bought them and chose to wear them instead of the flat bottom ones we picked out together). Her feet were so swollen I nearly gave in and tried to scrounge up more bus tickets for the week.

    We all sat down to dinner and it was so nice for a change. She laughed and joked, was very decent to her bro and sis, even apologized for her nastiness earlier that morning and gave her little brother a little chocolate bar she's saved from her lunch. Then she said she'd come up with a solution. She had gone to my friend who she babysits for once in a blue moon and bartered for rides to/from school all week. She is going to help my friend clean out the basement all this week after she washes up the dinner dishes for me.

    You could have knocked me over with a feather I was so surprised. I called my friend and she said Becky had approached her and told her what had happened, including how nasty she was and asked if there was anything she could think of. They came up with this and Becky even wrote it out and signed it.

    Now,I am not saying she doesn't need help because she really does. She has an uncontrolable temper and the way she speaks to and treats us is not neogtiable and I've told her she will keep going to the psychiatrist. I told her we only want to help so that she doesn't go down the same road as her difficult child sis.

    She told me she feels like she is being pushed down it by everyone comparing them...I honestly didn't think I was. So I wrote out and signed that I will try to see her as a seperate person, different from difficult child....

    Small steps with lots of help all around but oh I was proud of my girl last night:):)

  2. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Without those first, small steps, the journey is never begun.

    Incredible difficult child, to think of how to navigate through her situation.

    (If I could figure out how to get those little icons to work, I would put the applause one here!)


  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I am impressed at her maturity -

    Good for you all!
  4. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Yeah for Becky----a bigger yeah for mom. You stuck to your guns and she had to find a solution by herself for her problem. That's how you create kids who can handle the world.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    She did a truly awesome job of solving her problem. That she apologized speaks volumes as well. Who knows, we may be wrong and she really is a easy child who has some bad moments. But those moments are definitely doozies.

    I wonder what would happen if you suggested to her to use the psychiatrist's visits as a place to vent about her sibling and the perceived unfairness? It might be a start to getting her to open up. If she feels she is being compared, it might be worthwhile to have a family session where she gets to vent and you guys get to listen.

    Good luck! She really did do awesome.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Small steps lead to big steps. Good for her! And good for you!!!