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She never wants to bring her friends home
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 434415" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>For the most part teens do not want their friends to meet their parents. I remember the embarrassment that my parents might do something "strange". Mostly my friends liked my parents and had fun with them - and I did too. I liked my parents as people even as a teen. But that is very strange. One friend never wanted to have us at her house for long. It was a mix of a lot of things - the house was small, dirty, smelly and her older brother was a druggie and a jerk. They didn't come to my house much because my bro was scary to all of us. He was a real difficult child and he did enough things to let them know to not be around him or any of his friends. Normally we would have flocked to an older bro who was in college. In college towns the girls in jr high want to date the high school boys and the girls in high school want to date the college guys. ANd this is a mostly college town. But the guys my bro chose as friends were as difficult child as he was and often did not bathe. Or they did but they never ever washed their clothes. They were mostly from other countries and I am not joking when I say that he chose them because how bad they smelled. Each one was stinkier than the one before. My father, who is NEVER rude to guests had to throw quite a few of them out of the house because they smelled so horrible we were actually vomiting. Bro would bring them home for a meal and no one but him and the guest could eat. After one guest my mother had to throw away the cushions on the kitchen chair he sat in because in an hour it got a smell so bad that NOTHING got it out - not washing, not bleach, not ammonia, not drycleaning, not even keeping it in a trash bag with charcoal to absorb the odors. Another guy my bro invited to stay with us for a night over winter break and the guy wouldn't leave and my dad could not even go into the kitchen with-o vomiting. That man has maybe vomited six times in his life other than when these people came into our home. I had not actually EVER seen my father vomit or known that he had been sick. He hates to and refused to but their was NO way to not with the way these guys smelled. My dad had to throw the overnight guest out _ bro had a giant fit because in that guys country it is the worst you can ever do to ask a guest to leave regardless of how long they were there. My mother had to send the couch out to be cleaned and she threw the bedding in my bro's room away. She made bro pay for replacements and the cleaning too.</p><p></p><p>these "friends" and my bro's gfgness were why my friends didn't hang out at my house. </p><p></p><p>You and jumper need to work out a compromise. She spends time iwth the family and with you and has her friends over sometimes (trust me, they usually won't mind and will enjoy not being at their own home all the time) and she can spend a certain amount of time out with friends. make sure that chores figure in her home time also.</p><p></p><p>It is good that you talked it out. Isn't it amazing the difference between this problem with a difficult child and with a easy child? I have similar episodes with Jess - and she is usually sorry and we are talking in out in an hour or so. Learning to handle that and NOT react the way I would with Wiz was a real eye opener for me, lol.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 434415, member: 1233"] For the most part teens do not want their friends to meet their parents. I remember the embarrassment that my parents might do something "strange". Mostly my friends liked my parents and had fun with them - and I did too. I liked my parents as people even as a teen. But that is very strange. One friend never wanted to have us at her house for long. It was a mix of a lot of things - the house was small, dirty, smelly and her older brother was a druggie and a jerk. They didn't come to my house much because my bro was scary to all of us. He was a real difficult child and he did enough things to let them know to not be around him or any of his friends. Normally we would have flocked to an older bro who was in college. In college towns the girls in jr high want to date the high school boys and the girls in high school want to date the college guys. ANd this is a mostly college town. But the guys my bro chose as friends were as difficult child as he was and often did not bathe. Or they did but they never ever washed their clothes. They were mostly from other countries and I am not joking when I say that he chose them because how bad they smelled. Each one was stinkier than the one before. My father, who is NEVER rude to guests had to throw quite a few of them out of the house because they smelled so horrible we were actually vomiting. Bro would bring them home for a meal and no one but him and the guest could eat. After one guest my mother had to throw away the cushions on the kitchen chair he sat in because in an hour it got a smell so bad that NOTHING got it out - not washing, not bleach, not ammonia, not drycleaning, not even keeping it in a trash bag with charcoal to absorb the odors. Another guy my bro invited to stay with us for a night over winter break and the guy wouldn't leave and my dad could not even go into the kitchen with-o vomiting. That man has maybe vomited six times in his life other than when these people came into our home. I had not actually EVER seen my father vomit or known that he had been sick. He hates to and refused to but their was NO way to not with the way these guys smelled. My dad had to throw the overnight guest out _ bro had a giant fit because in that guys country it is the worst you can ever do to ask a guest to leave regardless of how long they were there. My mother had to send the couch out to be cleaned and she threw the bedding in my bro's room away. She made bro pay for replacements and the cleaning too. these "friends" and my bro's gfgness were why my friends didn't hang out at my house. You and jumper need to work out a compromise. She spends time iwth the family and with you and has her friends over sometimes (trust me, they usually won't mind and will enjoy not being at their own home all the time) and she can spend a certain amount of time out with friends. make sure that chores figure in her home time also. It is good that you talked it out. Isn't it amazing the difference between this problem with a difficult child and with a easy child? I have similar episodes with Jess - and she is usually sorry and we are talking in out in an hour or so. Learning to handle that and NOT react the way I would with Wiz was a real eye opener for me, lol. [/QUOTE]
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