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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 444449" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Tough one.</p><p></p><p>Me? I would keep it to myself until I talked with Wiz, IF I talked with Wiz.</p><p></p><p>Why IF? Because so far he's not felt comfortable in coming to you with the info, and so you must prepare yourself that it might upset him greatly if you go to him with questions.</p><p></p><p>It might come as a relief to him to have you ask and him be able to talk about it if something did happen. BUT males handle dealing with such things totally differently than females and tend to be far more emotional about it, believe it or not. </p><p></p><p>So I would weigh how important it is with having the truth come out before you decide to approach him. If it's not going to change anything, help anything, whatever.....I think I'd leave it lie until he chooses (if he ever does) to come to you. </p><p></p><p>I suspected things between bff's husband and Nichole when she was much younger. I asked repeatedly, carefully put.......but enough to see if she was willing to comment. Made her only more defensive and stubborn about it. So I totally backed off. Once the deep end dive with the same person last spring was over.......I casually mentioned it again. And her reply was such that my suspicion was confirmed but still she doesn't feel comfortable discussing it. I can understand that an accept it. But that was one reason last spring after bff's death.....played out the way it did. Pure manipulation on bff's husband's part the unholy vermin. Someday she may feel more comfortable and want to talk. I'll be here when she is and won't pass judgement. If she never reaches that point? That's ok too. It's not an easy thing to talk about. I know that myself.</p><p></p><p>hugs</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 444449, member: 84"] Tough one. Me? I would keep it to myself until I talked with Wiz, IF I talked with Wiz. Why IF? Because so far he's not felt comfortable in coming to you with the info, and so you must prepare yourself that it might upset him greatly if you go to him with questions. It might come as a relief to him to have you ask and him be able to talk about it if something did happen. BUT males handle dealing with such things totally differently than females and tend to be far more emotional about it, believe it or not. So I would weigh how important it is with having the truth come out before you decide to approach him. If it's not going to change anything, help anything, whatever.....I think I'd leave it lie until he chooses (if he ever does) to come to you. I suspected things between bff's husband and Nichole when she was much younger. I asked repeatedly, carefully put.......but enough to see if she was willing to comment. Made her only more defensive and stubborn about it. So I totally backed off. Once the deep end dive with the same person last spring was over.......I casually mentioned it again. And her reply was such that my suspicion was confirmed but still she doesn't feel comfortable discussing it. I can understand that an accept it. But that was one reason last spring after bff's death.....played out the way it did. Pure manipulation on bff's husband's part the unholy vermin. Someday she may feel more comfortable and want to talk. I'll be here when she is and won't pass judgement. If she never reaches that point? That's ok too. It's not an easy thing to talk about. I know that myself. hugs [/QUOTE]
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