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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 444458" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Good things to think about. I am not expecting him to open up really. More I want him to know that if he ever does want to talk about it that I will listen and pass NO judgment on him and it can't make me dislike her any more than I already do. because I don't think much could. I also want him to know that if he does choose to open up then I will NOT ask/expect him to step up and tell the court about this to protect my niece (k's daughter). Right now there is a HUGE custody battle because she accused gfgbro of physical abuse with specifics that he flat out would NOT do. One of the details is that he hits niece on her ears and yanks her around by them. he does put his hands over her ears gently when he needs her attention - gets down to her level and gently makes her face him and look at him in the face, but he is NOT EVER going to hurt her ears. He had WAY too many ear surgeries and a teacher that lifted him out of a chair by his ear the day he returned to school after an operation on that ear - I know it happened because I heard the scream from down the hall, ran out of my classroom and saw him sitting there with this enormous man yelling at him and blood streaming down the side of his face from his ear. He wasn't even allowed to go to the bathroom to clean up - I was the one that called our mom about it from the payphone. I wasn't allowed to use the office phone so I scrounged nickels from my classmates (it was after lunch so I didn't have milk money to use on the phone). That experience alone was enough to never have him touch anyone's ear in a violent way, even if he didn't have surgeries after that and major infections and problems. And he has hearing damage and won't do ANYTHING to risk his child having the hearing loss that he has dealt with since he was in his early 20s.</p><p></p><p>So I KNOW, for a certainty, that the allegations are false, and would even if niece did not admit to the judge that mommy told her what to say and daddy didn't do those things. But the pressure to "help" gfgbro is pretty fierce from my mom. So is his desire to help my mom with this because she is just so upset with the entire situation - and Wiz is so close to her that he might feel pressured to talk. So regardless of what happened to him I would likely wait until AFTER this is resolved. I do NOT want Wiz to testify because K will bring his past into the picture. As it is he will NOT be alone in a room with niece at ANY time. He actually does all he can to avoid even being in the same room - partly because she is a total jealous brat to him and partly because he wants NO chance of being accused of anything and he KNOWS K will accuse anyone and lie about anything. I do NOT watn him to be put in a situation where she can lie about him.</p><p></p><p>I AM very proud of him and impressed that he stood up for his sister. It was shortly after he told a boy in her class it was okay to be mean to her and the boy took it WAY overboard and Wiz totally felt responsible for that. Wiz also stopped the boy with threats that were totally believable. At the time of K's threatened abuse of J, Wiz spent a LOT of time out with her and thank you when K was around. I noticed because usually he went outside or to his room if she was there because he despised her - he heard enough from her kids and had good enough instincts to dislike her from early on. So it was a substantial change in his behavior, and also she did a LOT to avoid being around him, which was also a substantial change in her behavior.</p><p></p><p>These are good things to think about regarding his willingness to open up. Thanks. I really, really, really dislike this woman intensely.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 444458, member: 1233"] Good things to think about. I am not expecting him to open up really. More I want him to know that if he ever does want to talk about it that I will listen and pass NO judgment on him and it can't make me dislike her any more than I already do. because I don't think much could. I also want him to know that if he does choose to open up then I will NOT ask/expect him to step up and tell the court about this to protect my niece (k's daughter). Right now there is a HUGE custody battle because she accused gfgbro of physical abuse with specifics that he flat out would NOT do. One of the details is that he hits niece on her ears and yanks her around by them. he does put his hands over her ears gently when he needs her attention - gets down to her level and gently makes her face him and look at him in the face, but he is NOT EVER going to hurt her ears. He had WAY too many ear surgeries and a teacher that lifted him out of a chair by his ear the day he returned to school after an operation on that ear - I know it happened because I heard the scream from down the hall, ran out of my classroom and saw him sitting there with this enormous man yelling at him and blood streaming down the side of his face from his ear. He wasn't even allowed to go to the bathroom to clean up - I was the one that called our mom about it from the payphone. I wasn't allowed to use the office phone so I scrounged nickels from my classmates (it was after lunch so I didn't have milk money to use on the phone). That experience alone was enough to never have him touch anyone's ear in a violent way, even if he didn't have surgeries after that and major infections and problems. And he has hearing damage and won't do ANYTHING to risk his child having the hearing loss that he has dealt with since he was in his early 20s. So I KNOW, for a certainty, that the allegations are false, and would even if niece did not admit to the judge that mommy told her what to say and daddy didn't do those things. But the pressure to "help" gfgbro is pretty fierce from my mom. So is his desire to help my mom with this because she is just so upset with the entire situation - and Wiz is so close to her that he might feel pressured to talk. So regardless of what happened to him I would likely wait until AFTER this is resolved. I do NOT want Wiz to testify because K will bring his past into the picture. As it is he will NOT be alone in a room with niece at ANY time. He actually does all he can to avoid even being in the same room - partly because she is a total jealous brat to him and partly because he wants NO chance of being accused of anything and he KNOWS K will accuse anyone and lie about anything. I do NOT watn him to be put in a situation where she can lie about him. I AM very proud of him and impressed that he stood up for his sister. It was shortly after he told a boy in her class it was okay to be mean to her and the boy took it WAY overboard and Wiz totally felt responsible for that. Wiz also stopped the boy with threats that were totally believable. At the time of K's threatened abuse of J, Wiz spent a LOT of time out with her and thank you when K was around. I noticed because usually he went outside or to his room if she was there because he despised her - he heard enough from her kids and had good enough instincts to dislike her from early on. So it was a substantial change in his behavior, and also she did a LOT to avoid being around him, which was also a substantial change in her behavior. These are good things to think about regarding his willingness to open up. Thanks. I really, really, really dislike this woman intensely. [/QUOTE]
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