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Parent Emeritus
She will never be normal, will she?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 327229"><p>I am so sorry...I do hope you will make your way back to your therapist.</p><p></p><p>Your child has bipolar disorder. This is a life-long situation. She will need to take medication and will likely also need therapy. However, you can not force her to do these things. Just like with "regular" teens and/or young adults, these choices are their own. So, although there is a biological difficulty here that is greatly influencing her behavior, people...even those who are unwell, are still accountable to themselves and others. They still can make the decision to take steps for help....so that they don't hurt themselves or others.</p><p></p><p>How can you be accountable for this biological problem? It is something that just happened. Likewise, how can you be accountable for her decisions, especially those she makes as an adult?</p><p></p><p>All you can do, if you are able to do it, is provide her with opportunities that would be beneficial to her. For example, if you can...offer to take her to the doctor. Offer to take her to a therapist or find low cost therapy, etc. However, once again, it is her choice if she will take part in these things that will help her. I would not put toooo much energy into this help, just make offers when you are able and make sure she does the work....puts some work into it.</p><p></p><p>Of utmost concern is how down you are on yourself. Are you in therapy? Have you seen a doctor about how you feel? How are your sleeping habits?</p><p></p><p>Although it has got to be very tough, try not to hate her. Understand that MUCH of her attitude/behavior stems from her illness.</p><p></p><p>Instead, protect yourself and your emotions by detaching from it all. Yes, it is a "loss." Almost like a death of sorts. You realize that this child is never going to get totally well and there is a chance that she wont improve. But keep in mind, improvement is "on her," not on you.</p><p></p><p>Please get yourself back to your therapist. Are you able to take some kind of little vacation? If your daughter lives at home, could someone stay at your home to watch over things? It's time for a reprieve and time to find that therapist's phone number.</p><p></p><p>Please take a gooood look at what Bean said....the only real change you can make is the one you make for YOURself. Talk with- you therapist about your ultimate goals...starting with wanting to feel better/get rid of all the anger and pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 327229"] I am so sorry...I do hope you will make your way back to your therapist. Your child has bipolar disorder. This is a life-long situation. She will need to take medication and will likely also need therapy. However, you can not force her to do these things. Just like with "regular" teens and/or young adults, these choices are their own. So, although there is a biological difficulty here that is greatly influencing her behavior, people...even those who are unwell, are still accountable to themselves and others. They still can make the decision to take steps for help....so that they don't hurt themselves or others. How can you be accountable for this biological problem? It is something that just happened. Likewise, how can you be accountable for her decisions, especially those she makes as an adult? All you can do, if you are able to do it, is provide her with opportunities that would be beneficial to her. For example, if you can...offer to take her to the doctor. Offer to take her to a therapist or find low cost therapy, etc. However, once again, it is her choice if she will take part in these things that will help her. I would not put toooo much energy into this help, just make offers when you are able and make sure she does the work....puts some work into it. Of utmost concern is how down you are on yourself. Are you in therapy? Have you seen a doctor about how you feel? How are your sleeping habits? Although it has got to be very tough, try not to hate her. Understand that MUCH of her attitude/behavior stems from her illness. Instead, protect yourself and your emotions by detaching from it all. Yes, it is a "loss." Almost like a death of sorts. You realize that this child is never going to get totally well and there is a chance that she wont improve. But keep in mind, improvement is "on her," not on you. Please get yourself back to your therapist. Are you able to take some kind of little vacation? If your daughter lives at home, could someone stay at your home to watch over things? It's time for a reprieve and time to find that therapist's phone number. Please take a gooood look at what Bean said....the only real change you can make is the one you make for YOURself. Talk with- you therapist about your ultimate goals...starting with wanting to feel better/get rid of all the anger and pain. [/QUOTE]
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She will never be normal, will she?
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