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She will never be normal, will she?
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 327553"><p>Read real fast...my apologies if I missed some things.</p><p></p><p>I too wanted our difficult child to graduate from HS. I'm kinda happy that she did. HOWEVER, it really took a toll on me. I really gave up a lot to help her...to help make it happen. In the end, I'm not toally convinced it was worth it. But, I do not regret it. Afterwards, I decided...no more extraordinary efforts on my part for her benefit. Besides, she was approaching age 18...and I was pulling back FAST. Now that she is 21, she is out of the home and we are detached (for the most part) and it is gooood.</p><p></p><p>(So glad you are reading/re-reading that detachment link...the letting go/grow poem is particularly good!)</p><p></p><p>I agree with- K. "some things are not with-i my ability to fix." Amen sister! I can provide a little help, say a little prayer and hope for the best. Our difficult children have to pull their own weight. IF it is with-i our ability, and they are not taking advantage, we might provide "some"<u> limited</u> assistance. That's about it. By and large ,they have to do it themselves...no different really than anyone else. It is NOT with-i our ability to FIX the situation.</p><p></p><p>I agree with- S. do let your daughter know that you love her, but make it clear that you will not be burdened by HER poor choices in life. That life moves on for you. Do set some boundaries.</p><p></p><p>Also like what J. had to say. It might sound a little weird..but call a friend, go out for some coffee and go get a manicure or something like that that you enjoy. </p><p></p><p>This stuff is extremely hard....but you are very limited in what you can do (or should do). You can not fix it...an important point to remember.</p><p></p><p>It's up to your difficult child to get help for herself, to look at the situation differently, to make different choices...these things are up to HER.</p><p></p><p>In the mean time...don't miss out on all that life has to offer YOU. Don't short change yourself.</p><p></p><p>Hope you were able to make an apt. with- your therapist.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 327553"] Read real fast...my apologies if I missed some things. I too wanted our difficult child to graduate from HS. I'm kinda happy that she did. HOWEVER, it really took a toll on me. I really gave up a lot to help her...to help make it happen. In the end, I'm not toally convinced it was worth it. But, I do not regret it. Afterwards, I decided...no more extraordinary efforts on my part for her benefit. Besides, she was approaching age 18...and I was pulling back FAST. Now that she is 21, she is out of the home and we are detached (for the most part) and it is gooood. (So glad you are reading/re-reading that detachment link...the letting go/grow poem is particularly good!) I agree with- K. "some things are not with-i my ability to fix." Amen sister! I can provide a little help, say a little prayer and hope for the best. Our difficult children have to pull their own weight. IF it is with-i our ability, and they are not taking advantage, we might provide "some"[U] limited[/U] assistance. That's about it. By and large ,they have to do it themselves...no different really than anyone else. It is NOT with-i our ability to FIX the situation. I agree with- S. do let your daughter know that you love her, but make it clear that you will not be burdened by HER poor choices in life. That life moves on for you. Do set some boundaries. Also like what J. had to say. It might sound a little weird..but call a friend, go out for some coffee and go get a manicure or something like that that you enjoy. This stuff is extremely hard....but you are very limited in what you can do (or should do). You can not fix it...an important point to remember. It's up to your difficult child to get help for herself, to look at the situation differently, to make different choices...these things are up to HER. In the mean time...don't miss out on all that life has to offer YOU. Don't short change yourself. Hope you were able to make an apt. with- your therapist. [/QUOTE]
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She will never be normal, will she?
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