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She's been arrested on a felony charge..
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 416932"><p>It makes total sense to me that you want to stay out of it. It seems to me that you have a healthy dose of attachment. If you do have any contact with her it might make sense to tell her you will support her when she really wants to get some help for her problems but until then she is on her own. Your only goal is for her to get help for her mental health issues and whatever else, your goal is not to get her out of jail, and certainly not to get her back with the boyfriend. I think often parents have the goal of getting our kid out of trouble, when in fact that just enables them to get in worse trouble. Sometimes the best thing is for them to have to face the music of the legal system.</p><p></p><p>The court system can sometimes be slow and laborious and ridiculously lenient. My son kept getting in stupid petty trouble and every time they told him if you get in more trouble your bail can be revoked and you could go to jail. It didn't happen and so he just plain stopped believing it and just kept doing more stupid stuff.... until the last time. I think it was like his 5th offense the court finally said enough is enough and revoked his bail! I was sitting in court both hoping it would happen and devestated to see my son go to jail. Two weeks in jail was a huge wake up call for him and then he was willing to get help and we were willing to help him get help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 416932"] It makes total sense to me that you want to stay out of it. It seems to me that you have a healthy dose of attachment. If you do have any contact with her it might make sense to tell her you will support her when she really wants to get some help for her problems but until then she is on her own. Your only goal is for her to get help for her mental health issues and whatever else, your goal is not to get her out of jail, and certainly not to get her back with the boyfriend. I think often parents have the goal of getting our kid out of trouble, when in fact that just enables them to get in worse trouble. Sometimes the best thing is for them to have to face the music of the legal system. The court system can sometimes be slow and laborious and ridiculously lenient. My son kept getting in stupid petty trouble and every time they told him if you get in more trouble your bail can be revoked and you could go to jail. It didn't happen and so he just plain stopped believing it and just kept doing more stupid stuff.... until the last time. I think it was like his 5th offense the court finally said enough is enough and revoked his bail! I was sitting in court both hoping it would happen and devestated to see my son go to jail. Two weeks in jail was a huge wake up call for him and then he was willing to get help and we were willing to help him get help. [/QUOTE]
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She's been arrested on a felony charge..
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