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Substance Abuse
Should be an interesting morning...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 601387" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>You sure have a lot on your plate to think about. Are there statistics available on what damage is done to babies whose mothers are meth addicts who used in the first trimester? Are you prepared to raise a disabled child? My SO's grandson had brain damage (not drug related), he is 5 and his parents are young and wealthy and the emotional and financial toll is just enormous, and this child will always need a lot of support, he will be dependent on them for the rest of their lives.</p><p></p><p>Just to offer some thoughts to consider, because this is such a huge decision for you............you will be in your 50's I presume when your grandson is a teenager, a tad younger then I am, raising a teen..............and of course I adore my granddaughter and wouldn't do anything different..............<em>.AND</em>, it's tough sometimes......you just don't have the energy, patience nor brain power that you do when you are in your 30's or 40's or even 50's.</p><p></p><p>In addition, as others have mentioned, DFCS in attempting reunification may put you in the position I was in, which is to go to court and prove your own daughter to be a bad parent so that you can gain permanent guardianship or custody. This is a grueling experience on so many levels. You may want to ask about how that all will work too. And, if you do gain custody, your daughter will likely have some rights to the child and how do you protect him if he is with her without you? My daughter was so spun out in her own world, she didn't show up for any of the court ordered therapy or mediation or visitations so she essentially gave up all rights to me, but that is not always the case, your daughter may fight you and Connor will be in the middle.</p><p></p><p>I don't want to sound negative, just trying to offer a balanced picture. I am 17 years down the road from where you are and there are some pitfalls along the way. My granddaughter, against many odds, is turning out to be a terrific young woman, which would not have been the case had I not stepped in to pull her out of the dark life my daughter lives..................and it has been very difficult at times, it's getting easier now, but those early years had a lot of stress. The good news is that grandparents raising their grand kids is epidemic now, so there are many more resources available, I even found a therapist for my granddaughter (and me too), who specialized in the unique issues of this relationship.</p><p></p><p>Another thought is that your daughter may continue having babies like Marcie Mac's SO's niece...............she has many childbearing years ahead of her yet................that was something I so dreaded for a few years and wondered how I would react if there were another baby.............it is such a tough decision and of course, no right or wrong responses, simply what you're willing to do.............</p><p></p><p>I feel for you PG, this is heart wrenching for you and husband. There is no way to predict the future and look down the road a bit, so you will have to go with whatever decision you make and trust it will work out and you will be okay with it. I send you warm wishes for peace as you endeavor down this path.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 601387, member: 13542"] You sure have a lot on your plate to think about. Are there statistics available on what damage is done to babies whose mothers are meth addicts who used in the first trimester? Are you prepared to raise a disabled child? My SO's grandson had brain damage (not drug related), he is 5 and his parents are young and wealthy and the emotional and financial toll is just enormous, and this child will always need a lot of support, he will be dependent on them for the rest of their lives. Just to offer some thoughts to consider, because this is such a huge decision for you............you will be in your 50's I presume when your grandson is a teenager, a tad younger then I am, raising a teen..............and of course I adore my granddaughter and wouldn't do anything different..............[I].AND[/I], it's tough sometimes......you just don't have the energy, patience nor brain power that you do when you are in your 30's or 40's or even 50's. In addition, as others have mentioned, DFCS in attempting reunification may put you in the position I was in, which is to go to court and prove your own daughter to be a bad parent so that you can gain permanent guardianship or custody. This is a grueling experience on so many levels. You may want to ask about how that all will work too. And, if you do gain custody, your daughter will likely have some rights to the child and how do you protect him if he is with her without you? My daughter was so spun out in her own world, she didn't show up for any of the court ordered therapy or mediation or visitations so she essentially gave up all rights to me, but that is not always the case, your daughter may fight you and Connor will be in the middle. I don't want to sound negative, just trying to offer a balanced picture. I am 17 years down the road from where you are and there are some pitfalls along the way. My granddaughter, against many odds, is turning out to be a terrific young woman, which would not have been the case had I not stepped in to pull her out of the dark life my daughter lives..................and it has been very difficult at times, it's getting easier now, but those early years had a lot of stress. The good news is that grandparents raising their grand kids is epidemic now, so there are many more resources available, I even found a therapist for my granddaughter (and me too), who specialized in the unique issues of this relationship. Another thought is that your daughter may continue having babies like Marcie Mac's SO's niece...............she has many childbearing years ahead of her yet................that was something I so dreaded for a few years and wondered how I would react if there were another baby.............it is such a tough decision and of course, no right or wrong responses, simply what you're willing to do............. I feel for you PG, this is heart wrenching for you and husband. There is no way to predict the future and look down the road a bit, so you will have to go with whatever decision you make and trust it will work out and you will be okay with it. I send you warm wishes for peace as you endeavor down this path......... [/QUOTE]
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