Should be an interesting morning...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by PatriotsGirl, Jul 9, 2013.

  1. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    difficult child goes to court this morning and will be offered residential rehab or remaining in jail until the baby is born.

    They wanted me there to ask if I could help with transportation and/or preparing (I am thinking that may mean clothing, etc).

    husband thinks she will be stubborn and choose to stay in jail. I honestly don't know what is going to happen. If she chooses jail, I walk away shaking my head... :-(
  2. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Sending you all strength and hugs today. Positive thoughts difficult child chooses the best for her and Connor.
  3. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Will keep my fingers crossed she makes the right decision. Is the rehab a lock down facility?

  4. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    We are in such similar positions..... so take comfort in the fact that it is out of your hands and there really is nothing you can do but let her know you love her. Be there at court to show your love and if she decides to stay in jail that is her choice. Either way she will be relatively safe, not on the streets and not using drugs.

    I am with you in spirit today.

  5. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending prayers and hugs PG.........
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that she makes the smart decision.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lots of prayers and hugs!
  8. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Thinking of you dear friend xo
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    SHE TOOK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :winnersmiley: :wootsmiley:

    She saw me and pointed me out to another girl that was in the courtroom with her - I saw her mouth say "that's my mom". They both waved - I blew difficult child a kiss and she blew one back. I could tell she had been crying. I then saw her lawyer go talk to her and I was trying so hard to figure out what she was doing. I saw her face beet red and lots of tears so I kind of knew she was going to accept the plea. She signed a paper so I was hopeful. When her lawyer walked by me, I asked if he could tell me what she was doing and he said she was going to take it. WOW. I was so relieved I started crying again (already cried looking at my baby crying - that mommy heart just tugs and wants to make everything all better).

    She was called up and the judge made it official - he would only allow her out of jail to attend rehab. If she left rehab, he wanted her back in jail IMMEDIATELY where she will stay until she has her baby and then the baby would probably be taken. She has suspended fines, etc and he said she will be on STRICT probation. When she gives birth, she will be accepted into the Family Treatment Court and continue the rest of the program. He laid into her really good. He was so nice to everyone else, but when it came to difficult child, he was MAD!! He told her that her lawyer, her mother and the state were giving her a real opportunity here to pull herself out of a dark hole. That he felt she deserved to sit in jail and have her baby there like hundreds of others every day. He says she better do EVERYTHING rehab tells her to - that if they say jump, she better ask how high. He told her right now he just sees her as a cocoon and that hopefully with this program, she will become a mother. He told her if she wants to be a meth head, fine, but that the poor baby didn't ask to be here and he deserves a chance. Oh I was thrilled. He pretty much repeated everything I had already said to her. AND her "baby daddy" is to have NO contact!!!! INCLUDING when she gives birth!!!!! The judge said not only no, but HECK NO. husband is thrilled about that!! She, of course, wept harder...the judge turned around and told them to "get her out of here."

    There is a bed open in a residential rehab two towns away from me! It is free, she will be allowed to have her baby and they know all about her. Family Treatment Court is helping with the placement since she will be in their program in a couple of months. She just has to have a TB test done, etc which will be done in jail. So it sould be happening this week! She is going to see if they can pick difficult child up rather than have me take her. I told her I would do anything they needed me to, but that I was afraid difficult child would become hostile and/or manipulative during the transport. I KNOW she will lay in to me wanting to see him and I would rather not be put into that position. They asked if I would supply her some food until she gets food stamps and no question there - of course I will. I will also get her some maternity clothes...

    SO - it is done!!! :) It is finally over. The plea has been signed, it is court ordered and there is a bed waiting for her. I am SO relieved that it is close to home, too. My fear was being too far away to get to the hospital when she goes into labor...

    And the topper - the lawyer that her baby daddy is paying for?? Agreed with the women outside the courtroom that baby daddy is a dope head and she needed to hear everything the judge said. He seemed completely on the court solicitor's side with absolutely everything...I think that speaks volumes...

    As I was leaving, a young man stopped me and asked if he could speak with me. He told me that he wanted to let me know that he went through the drug court treatment program and that what just happened for my daughter, was indeed the BEST thing that could possibly happen for her. He said he understood how hard it was to hear everything that the judge said - but it HAD to be said. She HAD to hear it. He said, heck, HE needed to hear it. So he told me to smile, because this is a wonderful, wonderful thing momma.

    I left smiling with a huge weight gone....finally, she will be going to treatment and Connor will be safe....thank you everyone for your prayers, and thoughts as we have travelled this journey....
  10. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Oh my! That is AWESOME AMAZING FANTABULOUS NEWS!!!!!!!! On all fronts! The rehab, the support for the baby, the judge cracking down on her and laying it all out, the consequences if she bails on treatment, the lack of contact to baby daddy, ALL OF IT!

    I am betting you're going to sleep WELL tonight. As you should!!!
  11. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I honestly cannot imagine it being any better - well, if she was going happily, but sheesh, like that would happen! LOL I am counting my blessings today but just feel so tired. I think the emotional culmination of all of this has just wiped me out...
  12. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Tears of joy here, how nice of that young man to speak to you! May she keep trying to get healthy! You are a great mom.
  13. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Praise The Lord and Hallelujah!! I am SOOOOOO happy for you, for your daughter, and for Baby Connor!! I truly hope she actually heard what the judge told her and she does exactly what is expected of her.
  14. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    That is great news!!!! I hope she can get into the program quickly. Hugs.
  15. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a relief. I'm very happy for you and for the opportunity that awaits difficult child.
  16. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

  17. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Great news. Very glad she accepted it for both her and Connor. You did good warrior mom!!
  18. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I'm doing the happy dance. :cutie_pie:

  19. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

  20. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    Okay a BIG WTF???? difficult child just called me!!!!!! They released her at 2pm this afternoon??? difficult child said they released her and didn't say anything to her - just let her go....

    This HAS to be a mistake!!? I emailed the solicitor. difficult child did ask if I would call them and straighten this out in the morning. She was a bit afraid of the judge. She claims she has her head on right and not to worry, she will be fine. She said she knows I do not believe her and that is okay, she will prove me wrong. Yeah, I have heard that before, too.

    I am ticked. I thought I was finally at a place where I could much for a good night's sleep tonight. :(