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Siblings acting out sexually?
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 175432" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>in my opinion I think it's fine that your son is having an OK time and not dwelling on it. I sent my son away for a week to stay with my sister and he had a great time. He knows how serious it is because of the safety plan, the alarm on his door, etc., and the people he's had to talk to so far into the investigation. But kids don't dwell on things the way we do. I think it would be detrimental to have them be as miserable about it as we parents are (and believe me, I AM miserable right now and haven't been able to think about much else in the last few weeks). The counselors will be able to help him work out how serious it is, and they will know the best way to handle it. </p><p></p><p>I've tried to let my kids think that life is as normal as it was before, despite the fact that these new rules have taken effect. I believe that we caught my son and daughter the first time anything has happened. I'm scared to death that I will find out there is more involved, because I know how it will effect the rest of their lives (I'm a survivor myself). I stay up at night worrying about what I'm doing and not doing, still in shock about the whole situation and reliving it in my mind over and over again. </p><p>But I try really hard to not worry about what may have happened, because it doesn't do anybody any good. I'm prepared to find out more when they go to counseling if it plays out that way, but until then I have enough to worry about with what I do know.</p><p></p><p>You have to keep telling yourself it was not your fault. From your posts here I am confident you did everything a parent is expected to do and more but it still happened. My kids were in the pool, and I was watching them from the window about 10 feet away. I was looking at them for at least a minute when it was going on, and I didn't know it. I thought they were just talking. It wasn't until my son saw me looking at him, the look on his face and the way her pushed her away from him told me something was not right. How could I have NOT have known, I was looking at them?? Well, I didn't know, because that's the last thing I would suspect and it looked like they were talking. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't your fault either. Keep repeating it to yourself.</p><p></p><p>Marg is right about going to counseling for you. I can't afford it right now, so I'm trying to deal as best I can, and it is so hard. difficult child's counselor is free, so I asked her if she can talk to me and thankfully we are meeting today. Not the best situation since we already know each other pretty well in the capacity of helping my son, but the only one I can work out, because I have to talk with someone who is not so emotionally involved or I'll keep sinking and then what good will I be?</p><p></p><p>Stay strong.</p><p></p><p>Linda</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 175432, member: 45"] in my opinion I think it's fine that your son is having an OK time and not dwelling on it. I sent my son away for a week to stay with my sister and he had a great time. He knows how serious it is because of the safety plan, the alarm on his door, etc., and the people he's had to talk to so far into the investigation. But kids don't dwell on things the way we do. I think it would be detrimental to have them be as miserable about it as we parents are (and believe me, I AM miserable right now and haven't been able to think about much else in the last few weeks). The counselors will be able to help him work out how serious it is, and they will know the best way to handle it. I've tried to let my kids think that life is as normal as it was before, despite the fact that these new rules have taken effect. I believe that we caught my son and daughter the first time anything has happened. I'm scared to death that I will find out there is more involved, because I know how it will effect the rest of their lives (I'm a survivor myself). I stay up at night worrying about what I'm doing and not doing, still in shock about the whole situation and reliving it in my mind over and over again. But I try really hard to not worry about what may have happened, because it doesn't do anybody any good. I'm prepared to find out more when they go to counseling if it plays out that way, but until then I have enough to worry about with what I do know. You have to keep telling yourself it was not your fault. From your posts here I am confident you did everything a parent is expected to do and more but it still happened. My kids were in the pool, and I was watching them from the window about 10 feet away. I was looking at them for at least a minute when it was going on, and I didn't know it. I thought they were just talking. It wasn't until my son saw me looking at him, the look on his face and the way her pushed her away from him told me something was not right. How could I have NOT have known, I was looking at them?? Well, I didn't know, because that's the last thing I would suspect and it looked like they were talking. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't your fault either. Keep repeating it to yourself. Marg is right about going to counseling for you. I can't afford it right now, so I'm trying to deal as best I can, and it is so hard. difficult child's counselor is free, so I asked her if she can talk to me and thankfully we are meeting today. Not the best situation since we already know each other pretty well in the capacity of helping my son, but the only one I can work out, because I have to talk with someone who is not so emotionally involved or I'll keep sinking and then what good will I be? Stay strong. Linda [/QUOTE]
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