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Sigh.....difficult child is not good again
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 568708" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Thank you so much everyone for your words of support. It means a lot. </p><p></p><p>Janet - I certainly don't blame you and your husband for worrying about Cory - it sounds like he is not doing well healthwise at all. My difficult child has lost weight too. He says he doesn't want to eat much to shrink his stomach so he can afford to live on less food. I don't understand that thinking - he'd rather semi-starve than take the food available to him at his friends house, than to go to the two community suppers they offer in town every week, not to mention the food bank. Unlike Cory difficult child is not extremely thin (yet). He's just lost the extra few pounds he was carrying around. I'm so sorry you and your husband are feeling so sad and worried about Cory -it's so hard, especially at this time of year. </p><p></p><p>SuZir - I have to agree with you about difficult child's choices. He could have told his guidance counsellor he was homeless - I am sure they would have made some calls for him. In fact, I know they have in the past but difficult child refuses to take advantage of the services that are available. Instead he told his guidance counsellor that he had a place and was moving in next week. Sigh. I sure hope his back wall is coming soon and he will learn sooner rather than later that his choices are making his life so difficult. </p><p></p><p>RE - It really does sound like difficult child is much like your daughter. He seems to have such a huge problem with the rules of society - it's exactly like you say...he is willing to make his life miserable and so so difficult just to not have to follow any rules at all. What they don't understand is that by trying to achieve this 'freedom' from rules they are making themselves their own prison of poverty, homelessness, isolation from family and friends. He has let friends down at school. His friend said he let his drama group down (which is a HUGE deal - and difficult child loves his drama friends and the class) to the point where many of them were crying they were so disappointed. Not one person commented on his facebook status - that says a lot about how much his behaviour is starting to isolate him. </p><p></p><p>Calamity - I have thought of trying to get hold of the psychiatrist again on Monday. I'm just not sure what to do. He has to be willing to participate and I'm kind of nervous about possibly getting him on another medication and then leaving for our vacation on Wednesday. Do we try a new medication like a mood stabilizer? What about possible reactions? Is it the devil we know for now or the devil we don't know with hopes that it works and helps. I just don't know. </p><p></p><p>husband and I have been discussing for 2 days whether or not we will still go on vacation and we have decided to go. We will have our cell phones and be in contact with difficult child as well as family and friends up here. It looks like we could be dealing with this behaviour for many years to come and how long are we to put our lives on hold? If we stay home and he is out having fun with friends and finds someone new to couch surf with then we'll regret staying home and easy child will resent him even more. And difficult child will learn how much power he has over our lives. If we go and something happens then we may regret going on vacation too. But my parents and husband's parents live within 5 minutes of us, my cousin is 15 minutes away, my sister 45 minutes and lifelong friends here as well. I have to look at it and say that if something is going to happen it will likely happen whether we are here or not - we could be home within 2 days. </p><p></p><p>I have not told my parents what is going on yet. There is nothing they can do and my mom will be so upset and histrionic. difficult child is still going there for Christmas - hopefully for a couple of days so I can have some comfort that he'll be safe for that time anyway. </p><p></p><p>What would all of you do about the psychiatrist? medications? Telling my parents?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 568708, member: 14356"] Thank you so much everyone for your words of support. It means a lot. Janet - I certainly don't blame you and your husband for worrying about Cory - it sounds like he is not doing well healthwise at all. My difficult child has lost weight too. He says he doesn't want to eat much to shrink his stomach so he can afford to live on less food. I don't understand that thinking - he'd rather semi-starve than take the food available to him at his friends house, than to go to the two community suppers they offer in town every week, not to mention the food bank. Unlike Cory difficult child is not extremely thin (yet). He's just lost the extra few pounds he was carrying around. I'm so sorry you and your husband are feeling so sad and worried about Cory -it's so hard, especially at this time of year. SuZir - I have to agree with you about difficult child's choices. He could have told his guidance counsellor he was homeless - I am sure they would have made some calls for him. In fact, I know they have in the past but difficult child refuses to take advantage of the services that are available. Instead he told his guidance counsellor that he had a place and was moving in next week. Sigh. I sure hope his back wall is coming soon and he will learn sooner rather than later that his choices are making his life so difficult. RE - It really does sound like difficult child is much like your daughter. He seems to have such a huge problem with the rules of society - it's exactly like you say...he is willing to make his life miserable and so so difficult just to not have to follow any rules at all. What they don't understand is that by trying to achieve this 'freedom' from rules they are making themselves their own prison of poverty, homelessness, isolation from family and friends. He has let friends down at school. His friend said he let his drama group down (which is a HUGE deal - and difficult child loves his drama friends and the class) to the point where many of them were crying they were so disappointed. Not one person commented on his facebook status - that says a lot about how much his behaviour is starting to isolate him. Calamity - I have thought of trying to get hold of the psychiatrist again on Monday. I'm just not sure what to do. He has to be willing to participate and I'm kind of nervous about possibly getting him on another medication and then leaving for our vacation on Wednesday. Do we try a new medication like a mood stabilizer? What about possible reactions? Is it the devil we know for now or the devil we don't know with hopes that it works and helps. I just don't know. husband and I have been discussing for 2 days whether or not we will still go on vacation and we have decided to go. We will have our cell phones and be in contact with difficult child as well as family and friends up here. It looks like we could be dealing with this behaviour for many years to come and how long are we to put our lives on hold? If we stay home and he is out having fun with friends and finds someone new to couch surf with then we'll regret staying home and easy child will resent him even more. And difficult child will learn how much power he has over our lives. If we go and something happens then we may regret going on vacation too. But my parents and husband's parents live within 5 minutes of us, my cousin is 15 minutes away, my sister 45 minutes and lifelong friends here as well. I have to look at it and say that if something is going to happen it will likely happen whether we are here or not - we could be home within 2 days. I have not told my parents what is going on yet. There is nothing they can do and my mom will be so upset and histrionic. difficult child is still going there for Christmas - hopefully for a couple of days so I can have some comfort that he'll be safe for that time anyway. What would all of you do about the psychiatrist? medications? Telling my parents? [/QUOTE]
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