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Parent Emeritus
Sigh.....difficult child is not good again
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 568734" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so so sorry. This situation is made all the worse because it is the holiday season and we remember them as our little kids so very vividly. I think the back wall analogy is excellent. I doubt I will ever understand this type of difficult child stubborn persistence. There is one thing that helped me get through the various difficult child dramas in my life. That thing is the difficult child stubborn persstence because when they do finally hit that back wall and decide to change for good? There is NO stopping them. NONE. They throw themselves into changing things the way they did into not 'gving in' to rationality, common sense, or logic when they were making bad choices. I clung to that when times were the hardest here.</p><p></p><p>You have done all you can, and I hope that he turns around soon. Some people jsut have to take the hardest road around. I agree that since he is still working, is unwilling to reach out, and is not super thin or refusing all contact with you, that he isn't doing too terribly. </p><p></p><p>As for psychiatrist and medications, if you can afford them and he will go to the doctor and take the medications, I would pay for them. As for your parents, I would step out of that relationship. Your sig says that your difficult child is 16, so I don't know if he is a minor or not, but if he is old enough to be out and about on his own then he is old enough to handle explaining his choices to his grandparents just as he would any other adult. If/when your mom is upset with you, tell her that they are both adults and this is their relationship problem, not yours. You have enough of your own problems with-o taking on that responsibility. Knowing how upset his gma is may be part of that brick wall he cannot get around/through/over/under.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 568734, member: 1233"] I am so so sorry. This situation is made all the worse because it is the holiday season and we remember them as our little kids so very vividly. I think the back wall analogy is excellent. I doubt I will ever understand this type of difficult child stubborn persistence. There is one thing that helped me get through the various difficult child dramas in my life. That thing is the difficult child stubborn persstence because when they do finally hit that back wall and decide to change for good? There is NO stopping them. NONE. They throw themselves into changing things the way they did into not 'gving in' to rationality, common sense, or logic when they were making bad choices. I clung to that when times were the hardest here. You have done all you can, and I hope that he turns around soon. Some people jsut have to take the hardest road around. I agree that since he is still working, is unwilling to reach out, and is not super thin or refusing all contact with you, that he isn't doing too terribly. As for psychiatrist and medications, if you can afford them and he will go to the doctor and take the medications, I would pay for them. As for your parents, I would step out of that relationship. Your sig says that your difficult child is 16, so I don't know if he is a minor or not, but if he is old enough to be out and about on his own then he is old enough to handle explaining his choices to his grandparents just as he would any other adult. If/when your mom is upset with you, tell her that they are both adults and this is their relationship problem, not yours. You have enough of your own problems with-o taking on that responsibility. Knowing how upset his gma is may be part of that brick wall he cannot get around/through/over/under. [/QUOTE]
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