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Parent Emeritus
*Sigh* need advice regarding Copper (LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 152888" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>I wouldn't tell Copper quite yet. From what you've said here and in the past, I'm not sure she could handle the disappointment if K wasn't the father or, if he was, if he didn't want to at least meet her.</p><p> </p><p>I would try to get a DNA swab from her -- saying something to the effect that there are some genetic issues you feel it is important to clear up. I would talk to K and simply explain you didn't think there was a chance he was the dad but the older Copper gets, the more she is starting to look like him.</p><p> </p><p>I don't see how you would be ruining anyone's life. If J's not the father, he'll at least know he's off the hook for anything in the future. If K's not the father, then the status quo remains the same. If K is the father, then you can talk to Copper and give her the option to meet K.</p><p> </p><p>No matter what, you honestly believed J was the father. You didn't lie. Heck, you didn't even try to force him into Copper's life. He chose to get in and out of it. You did the best you could.</p><p> </p><p>Quite honestly, I truly wish I could find my daughter's father just so he could answer some questions. I know his name but have been unable to locate him anywhere. I don't know if he would any kind of relationship with his biological daughter, but I'd like to at least give my daughter the option of contacting him. She doesn't need a father but she would like one, even if it is someone at a far distance who doesn't particularly want to be in her life. For her, it is the idea of being "complete," if that makes sense.</p><p> </p><p>BBK, don't beat yourself up. You did the best you could at the time. Heck, at least you gave J a chance to be her father. He's the one who lost out. Sadly, he cheated Copper in the process, whether he was the biological father or not. He accepted he was at that time. Believe it or not, this whole thing could end up being a good thing. Give it a chance.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 152888, member: 3626"] I wouldn't tell Copper quite yet. From what you've said here and in the past, I'm not sure she could handle the disappointment if K wasn't the father or, if he was, if he didn't want to at least meet her. I would try to get a DNA swab from her -- saying something to the effect that there are some genetic issues you feel it is important to clear up. I would talk to K and simply explain you didn't think there was a chance he was the dad but the older Copper gets, the more she is starting to look like him. I don't see how you would be ruining anyone's life. If J's not the father, he'll at least know he's off the hook for anything in the future. If K's not the father, then the status quo remains the same. If K is the father, then you can talk to Copper and give her the option to meet K. No matter what, you honestly believed J was the father. You didn't lie. Heck, you didn't even try to force him into Copper's life. He chose to get in and out of it. You did the best you could. Quite honestly, I truly wish I could find my daughter's father just so he could answer some questions. I know his name but have been unable to locate him anywhere. I don't know if he would any kind of relationship with his biological daughter, but I'd like to at least give my daughter the option of contacting him. She doesn't need a father but she would like one, even if it is someone at a far distance who doesn't particularly want to be in her life. For her, it is the idea of being "complete," if that makes sense. BBK, don't beat yourself up. You did the best you could at the time. Heck, at least you gave J a chance to be her father. He's the one who lost out. Sadly, he cheated Copper in the process, whether he was the biological father or not. He accepted he was at that time. Believe it or not, this whole thing could end up being a good thing. Give it a chance. [/QUOTE]
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