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*Sigh* need advice regarding Copper (LONG)
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 152896"><p>OK, call me cynical, but here goes.</p><p></p><p>I don't see anything in your post that suggests K would be anymore of a father to Copper than J has. He's wondered for 20 years, but he's never been motivated to step up to the plate to find out. He wasn't interested in helping to provide for a child he thought could possibly be his. He wasn't interested enough to accept the responsibility and be a parent even if he couldn't provide financially.</p><p></p><p>I'd be careful. You could open the door to more rejection and hurt for Copper. If K contacts you and proves himself to have a genuine interest in being a father to Copper then and ONLY THEN would I consider more action.</p><p></p><p>I know what it's like to have a come and go father. Even at my age and knowing and accepting how my father is, it still hurts when he does it again. I let him back into my life a year ago and have spent the entire time regretting it. A longtime friend of mine has the same situation with her dad. We've both said we'd rather they just stayed away. The coming and going is just a smack in the face every time. </p><p></p><p>And now my daughter's father hasn't made any attempt to contact her in 10 years. I see how that hurts her. It enrages me. I <strong>don't</strong> <strong>care</strong> if he goes to bed hurting every night. In fact, I hope he does hurt. It was his choice and his choice has scarred my child...my innocent, baby girl who at the age of 3 couldn't possibly understand why her father just didn't pick her up one day and never called again. He deserves to feel some of that, too. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry for your hurting heart. This isn't on you. This is on them. On J for treating who he believed to be his daughter the way he did and on K for wondering, but never being interested enough to find out for sure. No matter how hard we try, we can't protect our kids from the selfish actions of an uninterested parent. We can only try to cushion the fall.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 152896"] OK, call me cynical, but here goes. I don't see anything in your post that suggests K would be anymore of a father to Copper than J has. He's wondered for 20 years, but he's never been motivated to step up to the plate to find out. He wasn't interested in helping to provide for a child he thought could possibly be his. He wasn't interested enough to accept the responsibility and be a parent even if he couldn't provide financially. I'd be careful. You could open the door to more rejection and hurt for Copper. If K contacts you and proves himself to have a genuine interest in being a father to Copper then and ONLY THEN would I consider more action. I know what it's like to have a come and go father. Even at my age and knowing and accepting how my father is, it still hurts when he does it again. I let him back into my life a year ago and have spent the entire time regretting it. A longtime friend of mine has the same situation with her dad. We've both said we'd rather they just stayed away. The coming and going is just a smack in the face every time. And now my daughter's father hasn't made any attempt to contact her in 10 years. I see how that hurts her. It enrages me. I [B]don't[/B] [B]care[/B] if he goes to bed hurting every night. In fact, I hope he does hurt. It was his choice and his choice has scarred my child...my innocent, baby girl who at the age of 3 couldn't possibly understand why her father just didn't pick her up one day and never called again. He deserves to feel some of that, too. I'm sorry for your hurting heart. This isn't on you. This is on them. On J for treating who he believed to be his daughter the way he did and on K for wondering, but never being interested enough to find out for sure. No matter how hard we try, we can't protect our kids from the selfish actions of an uninterested parent. We can only try to cushion the fall. [/QUOTE]
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*Sigh* need advice regarding Copper (LONG)
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