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Sis in Texas Calls.......
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 587637" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I was rather surprised sis called me too, given the circumstances. I know she wound up hurt over the whole deal, and sis tends to avoid everyone when she gets hurt or messes up. This is why I never called her over it. It would just make her feel worse as she would perceive it as me rubbing her nose in it. Evidently she has had time for some of the emotions to subside and is able to think about it a bit better. She conceded that up and moving mom to Texas was a bad idea and that she should've seen that at the beginning. I made sure to avoid making this a personal thing between mom and sis because I'm certain it wasn't the case. Sis needs to understand that. It was the coming in and swooping her away from her home, making her feel as if she had no choice, taking her so far away (she's never lived out of the state) from home and from the rest of the family that triggered it all. Not sis herself or the family. They were just nearby and caught the brunt of it which is typical. Dealing with paranoid schizo is not easy by a long shot, it can be a living hades on earth for someone who has no clue wth is going on. </p><p></p><p>I don't think brother in law had time to do anything with mom's money. Anything not her ss check or retirement checks is tucked away in CD's and IRAs that he couldn't touch. I've no doubt if he had taken any money I'd have heard about it.......I'd still be hearing about it........I would hear about it for the next decade or more. lol </p><p></p><p>I don't necessary want the job of caring for mom from here on out. Mostly because I do know <strong>exactly</strong> what I'm in for, especially as she continues to age and it gets worse. I don't mind being her medical POA, been there done that it's not such a tough job and I know what she wants. Not so thrilled with being her general POA or the administrator of the will though. Nichole's husband would be a good candidate for administrator because well........he wouldn't dare cross anyone, most especially me. Only iffy part about that is I don't see him standing up to my sibs once some of them get to squabbling. He'd even be a good candidate for the POA as he does great with their finances, and again.......he'd never try anything knowing he'd have to answer to me and to Nichole. (his dad is the president of a bank here, so even what he doesn't understand his dad can give him advice) Mom was hoping easy child's husband would take the job but that was nixed because he doesn't even handled the household money. Is it obvious yet that I don't want to handle her finances?? LOL omg Mom wanted easy child's husband to do it cuz he'd stand up to anyone, period. Nor would he take from her. But if he doesn't know how his own household runs, he won't be able to handle the responsibility. Know what I mean?? </p><p></p><p>I'm a go with the flow sort of person. My family has never "got" that about me. I will step in and grab the bull by the horns when needed, when not needed.......well, I'm just like it's all good. lol </p><p></p><p>This situation is going to continue to develop, and odds are high it is going to continue to get worse. If I allow myself to be pulled into the drama of it all.....I'll be the one needing the padded room and medications. </p><p></p><p>Susie, I understand about the whole they lived with her full time sort of thing vs I didn't. But it is still difficult for me to grasp (knowing things my mom did all during the years, and not just to me) that they never realized she was mentally ill. Or at the very least something was very wrong, very very wrong. They are just now having it dawn on them that older sis is mentally "off" as well. Which I had smack me upside the head during one of her visits 15 yrs ago. I suspected strongly prior to that given some off the wall behavior and a really disillusional conversation I had with her when Nichole was about 8 yrs old. Sis may also be schizo, although not paranoid that I know of, and the onset of symptoms in her twenties is about right for it. I don't spend enough time with her or talking to her to be certain it is shizo and not just out of control bipolar, not really thinking the latter......if that is a part it's a combo thing like my aunt. But this is why older sis so far has not been dragged into the drama. She is a total wild card.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 587637, member: 84"] I was rather surprised sis called me too, given the circumstances. I know she wound up hurt over the whole deal, and sis tends to avoid everyone when she gets hurt or messes up. This is why I never called her over it. It would just make her feel worse as she would perceive it as me rubbing her nose in it. Evidently she has had time for some of the emotions to subside and is able to think about it a bit better. She conceded that up and moving mom to Texas was a bad idea and that she should've seen that at the beginning. I made sure to avoid making this a personal thing between mom and sis because I'm certain it wasn't the case. Sis needs to understand that. It was the coming in and swooping her away from her home, making her feel as if she had no choice, taking her so far away (she's never lived out of the state) from home and from the rest of the family that triggered it all. Not sis herself or the family. They were just nearby and caught the brunt of it which is typical. Dealing with paranoid schizo is not easy by a long shot, it can be a living hades on earth for someone who has no clue wth is going on. I don't think brother in law had time to do anything with mom's money. Anything not her ss check or retirement checks is tucked away in CD's and IRAs that he couldn't touch. I've no doubt if he had taken any money I'd have heard about it.......I'd still be hearing about it........I would hear about it for the next decade or more. lol I don't necessary want the job of caring for mom from here on out. Mostly because I do know [B]exactly[/B] what I'm in for, especially as she continues to age and it gets worse. I don't mind being her medical POA, been there done that it's not such a tough job and I know what she wants. Not so thrilled with being her general POA or the administrator of the will though. Nichole's husband would be a good candidate for administrator because well........he wouldn't dare cross anyone, most especially me. Only iffy part about that is I don't see him standing up to my sibs once some of them get to squabbling. He'd even be a good candidate for the POA as he does great with their finances, and again.......he'd never try anything knowing he'd have to answer to me and to Nichole. (his dad is the president of a bank here, so even what he doesn't understand his dad can give him advice) Mom was hoping easy child's husband would take the job but that was nixed because he doesn't even handled the household money. Is it obvious yet that I don't want to handle her finances?? LOL omg Mom wanted easy child's husband to do it cuz he'd stand up to anyone, period. Nor would he take from her. But if he doesn't know how his own household runs, he won't be able to handle the responsibility. Know what I mean?? I'm a go with the flow sort of person. My family has never "got" that about me. I will step in and grab the bull by the horns when needed, when not needed.......well, I'm just like it's all good. lol This situation is going to continue to develop, and odds are high it is going to continue to get worse. If I allow myself to be pulled into the drama of it all.....I'll be the one needing the padded room and medications. Susie, I understand about the whole they lived with her full time sort of thing vs I didn't. But it is still difficult for me to grasp (knowing things my mom did all during the years, and not just to me) that they never realized she was mentally ill. Or at the very least something was very wrong, very very wrong. They are just now having it dawn on them that older sis is mentally "off" as well. Which I had smack me upside the head during one of her visits 15 yrs ago. I suspected strongly prior to that given some off the wall behavior and a really disillusional conversation I had with her when Nichole was about 8 yrs old. Sis may also be schizo, although not paranoid that I know of, and the onset of symptoms in her twenties is about right for it. I don't spend enough time with her or talking to her to be certain it is shizo and not just out of control bipolar, not really thinking the latter......if that is a part it's a combo thing like my aunt. But this is why older sis so far has not been dragged into the drama. She is a total wild card. [/QUOTE]
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