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General Parenting
Sitting here crying, frustrated, overwhelmed..i could just scream! Kinda long sorry
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 435881" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Hello Feather. I really understand your frustration and sorrow. It feels like an uphill struggle when your partner is not "on the same page" with all this stuff.</p><p>The bottom line is that your husband is not going to change. Or certainly you cannot count on that. I thought I'd get that gloomy news, that you doubtless realise yourself, in there straight away! Effectively you are going to have to have the role of educating him without seeming to - trying to inform him about your way of doing things (in my view the only effective and truly loving way) when he is not open to it is only going to alienate him further. So you have to work along the principle of "softly, softly catchee monkey". Personally I am pretty hopeless at that technique but I have every confidence that other people might be better at it <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> </p><p>At least your daughter has you on her side with your willingness to be open, learn, and implement techniques that actually work. Try not to be too dismayed by the fact that for the moment she and you don't also have your husband "on side". He loves her in his way. And all that. You have to be the warrior. Which you are already, as we all are... </p><p>I think you have to communicate with your husband via some sort of bridge. He is not going to join you on your side of the river.</p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 435881, member: 11227"] Hello Feather. I really understand your frustration and sorrow. It feels like an uphill struggle when your partner is not "on the same page" with all this stuff. The bottom line is that your husband is not going to change. Or certainly you cannot count on that. I thought I'd get that gloomy news, that you doubtless realise yourself, in there straight away! Effectively you are going to have to have the role of educating him without seeming to - trying to inform him about your way of doing things (in my view the only effective and truly loving way) when he is not open to it is only going to alienate him further. So you have to work along the principle of "softly, softly catchee monkey". Personally I am pretty hopeless at that technique but I have every confidence that other people might be better at it :-) At least your daughter has you on her side with your willingness to be open, learn, and implement techniques that actually work. Try not to be too dismayed by the fact that for the moment she and you don't also have your husband "on side". He loves her in his way. And all that. You have to be the warrior. Which you are already, as we all are... I think you have to communicate with your husband via some sort of bridge. He is not going to join you on your side of the river. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Sitting here crying, frustrated, overwhelmed..i could just scream! Kinda long sorry
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