snuck out in pj's

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Dixies_fire, May 5, 2013.

  1. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Last night we went rounds over hair washing not normally a problem but it was last night took two trips to the bathroom and a third trip with me washing her hair and French braiding.

    She told me the reason she didn't want to wash her hair is because I told her to do it.

    Fast forward this morning. I was recovering from being up with baby all night we mr Lewis and I were laying on bed and I was feeding him. Tk asked if she could go to friends house said she was getting dressed said bye mom an raced down stairs.

    Get a call two hours later friend's mom is sending her home cause she has blue in her hair.

    Wasn't too upset just shook head because this is tk getting me back for her hair being washed. Was planning on washing it and sending her to bedroom for a time out. She walks in, pj pants and shirt a robe and her coat. (We were going to go back to the park today but it never warmed up)

    So she left the house in pj's robe and coat. All the way to the other side of our housing circle. And chilled there for two hours. While I was washing her hair she said she did it to punish me. Trying to figure out why I deserve to be punished as yesterday she got to do her lemonade stand and we went to the park the day before we spent all day in kitchen baking which is her thing and had spend the night company.

  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Get her evaluated.

    This isn't the worst thing on earth, at least to me. But she has some really deep anger and it's best to find out what the problem is and help her.

    I do have to winter, I love to go out in my fluffy warm pj I do it!!! :)
  3. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    I don't think it's horrible just typical tk the words for the anger is new. I like to hang out in my pj's have even been known to run to the store in them. Sans robe. But I've told her before it was inappropriate for playing outside.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    She did it to upset you. If you show her that you are upset, she wins. I made it my mission to not let my children's clothing choices be MY problem. If they leave with-o a coat, they are cold. if they leave in pjs and a robe, people look at them funny. Not. My. Problem.

    My mother HATES for kids to not wear mated socks and for socks not to be mated straight out of teh dryer. I never understood this as a kid, and as an adult? Socks are soooooo not my problem. I cannot wear them due to skin issues and foot issues. My kids are picky about socks (mostly the style) and they hate wearing matching socks. Always have. Esp J and Wiz. I don't get upset about their hair either. If they want to look odd, I don't care. If they go to an event that I do care about and they wear something inappropriate? payback is a witch and I am a bigger one. Wiz is the only one to try this. He insisted on wearing old, ratty, holey clothing to an event that was a big deal to my mom. I went up to his school in the ugliest, most eye searing outfit I could put together, with my hair almost standing on end (and it was almost down to my tushie) and I made a BIG fuss over him including kissing him and leaving a bright red lip smear on his cheek.

    He called me after the event and begged for a truce. His friends know me and KNEW why I looked that way. They told him to apologize because it was going to get worse. They were right. I had a lace shirt and hip waders planned next. Yes, maybe that was childish, but it was the only way to let him know that it had to stop. with wiz, it was the only way to reach him on the subject. Given I have maybe one event every five years that I care what the wear, it wasn't asking too much.

    Wiz had hair of all sorts of colors in high school. He went to a trade program and the girls in the cosmetology program did hair for free to other students. He got all sorts of colors put in. Most were barely noticeable until the class learned to bleach before coloring, lol. Mostly it was just funny.

    Don't let her choices dictate your mood. If she wants to look like an idiot, so what? For those who ask you why you let her dress like that, tell her it is her choice and she has nice clothes if she wants to wear them. But it isn't generally your problem as long as all the private areas are covered.

    As for why you were to be punished? because she is a difficult child. It is illogical and irrational. I would let her earn the next day like yesterday with her behavior rather than doing it again after he choice to 'punish' you. Do to get. If she doesn't do whatever is requried, she doesn't get fun times. Often this is teh ONLY way to get a difficult child to do what is needed.
  5. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    That's the tack I took yesterday. I said "so you have gotten in a bit of trouble lately huh?" She said yeah I said "you think I should let you go to cait's if you can't do right here?" Se said "no?" Lol
    I wasn't mad about the blue hair except I knew she was doing that to get back at me and she's in elementary school and they would of sent her home if it hasn't come out. But I was po'd about the clothes. And all the other crazy stuff she's been up to lately. She ran all over us on our yard sale day and I just dealt with it because she was excited. Seems like she gets really excited about something she perceives as cool and them gets "overly" wound up and ends up missing whatever it was we were supposed to be doing that was cool in the first place. I know that sounds confusing but I don't know how to explain?

    I don't think tk gets embarrassed about the way she looks? I could go into that forever but I'll leave it at her hair is a mess and she will wear things over and over again if you let her. And it doesn't really matter how much effort I put into it most days. I just try to make sure she's clean and not crazy looking when she goes to school how she comes home is generally an entirely different kettle of fish.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm with-the others; she definitely needs a better diagnosis. If she doesn't care what she looks like, and getting back at you is that immature, she's got something going on. I'm glad that she stayed in the area and the other mom called you. I'd be sending cookies to the mom's house to keep her on your good side. :) (I'm so Machiavellian!)
    When I first read your note, I thought, she's never going to remember the lemonade. She lives in the moment. Everything is NOW. My son is 16 and is just getting to the point where he can explain that yes, we did take him out for pizza the other night and he does appreciate it, which is why he's not going to ask for pizza again the next night. I hate to tell you, but it takes yrs. You have to be patient. Just take it one day at a time. Life will never be dull with-her!
    Is she on any medications?
  7. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    No medications they tried her on an ADHD medication which I don't remember what it is thank god for centralized medical records last year but it had very little effect at all. She's not even having the same problems she was having last year for the most part.

    The other mom and I are "battle buddies" I send home her escape artist son and she sends home my wayward daughter when she's going a little crazy.
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ah, very good! Comrades-in-arms. She's a keeper.