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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 603361" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>You're doing a good job <strong>but</strong>, lol, I think you are hoping for a miracle cure. When you realize how many many years he has had issues it is not realistic to think that "a geographic cure" would take place in days or week or likely months. It is likely to take a long time, Tammy. As you totally know he is the only one who can face his addiction and get help. A night or a week or a month without any booze does not mean he has come to terms with his serious problem. Don't allow yourself to go through "his" daily processing. It's not healthy for you and truly is unhealthy for him. I know the pain in your heart, my friend, but I also believe that you have been riding the roller coaster ride with him for too many years. </p><p></p><p>Make yourself a "cheat sheet" of short responses to his phone call topics. Keep it by your phone. That will help you stay disengaged a bit. If he is hungry provide him with local food bank choices. If he feels ill have phone numbers handy where he can reach out. When he wants to talk about his SO and kid issues, provide him with access to a support group or a phone number if he threatens to harm himself. Yes, I know it is not what you want to do but if he is going to be responsible for his choices then he is the one who has to make them. Sigh.</p><p></p><p>I keep you in my thoughts and with fingers crossed that he gets the message pdq. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 603361, member: 35"] You're doing a good job [B]but[/B], lol, I think you are hoping for a miracle cure. When you realize how many many years he has had issues it is not realistic to think that "a geographic cure" would take place in days or week or likely months. It is likely to take a long time, Tammy. As you totally know he is the only one who can face his addiction and get help. A night or a week or a month without any booze does not mean he has come to terms with his serious problem. Don't allow yourself to go through "his" daily processing. It's not healthy for you and truly is unhealthy for him. I know the pain in your heart, my friend, but I also believe that you have been riding the roller coaster ride with him for too many years. Make yourself a "cheat sheet" of short responses to his phone call topics. Keep it by your phone. That will help you stay disengaged a bit. If he is hungry provide him with local food bank choices. If he feels ill have phone numbers handy where he can reach out. When he wants to talk about his SO and kid issues, provide him with access to a support group or a phone number if he threatens to harm himself. Yes, I know it is not what you want to do but if he is going to be responsible for his choices then he is the one who has to make them. Sigh. I keep you in my thoughts and with fingers crossed that he gets the message pdq. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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