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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 387325" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>Hi Pam,</p><p></p><p>I know you're frustrated, but I'm not sure talking about difficult child's poor behavior at home in family therapy is necessarily going to change it. I suspect how you respond to said behavior at home may have more lasting impact. Family therapy might just be putting your difficult child on the spot and making him defensive.</p><p></p><p>First, have you read The Explosive Child? Collaborative Problem Solving would be my suggestion for how to deal with his tantrums. Another book that might help is Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay (<a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>).</p><p></p><p>Second, I know it's counterintuitive, but a child who is acting disrespectfully toward a parent actually needs to be spending more one-on-one time with that parent engaging in positive relationship-building activities, such as going out to Starbucks and chatting over a drink, going for a bicycle ride, taking the dog for a walk, etc. You get my drift. In this way, you build a relationship that is not always fraught with negative emotion. Furthermore, if he acts disrespectfully toward you, I would recommend simply not responding to him or stopping what you're doing. If he demands something from you, walk away. No response from you will get the message to him far faster than continual lectures about respect, in my humble opinion.</p><p></p><p>Finally, bullying behavior toward his brother is a toughie. My suggestion is to simply separate them. Again, a lot of attention about this issue may keep the behavior going on longer. Simply taking his brother away with you and defusing the situation without a lot of lectures time and again may make it not so fun to keep taunting his brother.</p><p></p><p>In terms of the medications, Lexapro may not be doing it on its own. If your son is still explosive, there's a chance he needs something else. You may need to talk to the psychiatrist about that.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. I know this stuff is not easy.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 387325, member: 2423"] Hi Pam, I know you're frustrated, but I'm not sure talking about difficult child's poor behavior at home in family therapy is necessarily going to change it. I suspect how you respond to said behavior at home may have more lasting impact. Family therapy might just be putting your difficult child on the spot and making him defensive. First, have you read The Explosive Child? Collaborative Problem Solving would be my suggestion for how to deal with his tantrums. Another book that might help is Parenting with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay ([URL="http://www.loveandlogic.com"]www.loveandlogic.com[/URL]). Second, I know it's counterintuitive, but a child who is acting disrespectfully toward a parent actually needs to be spending more one-on-one time with that parent engaging in positive relationship-building activities, such as going out to Starbucks and chatting over a drink, going for a bicycle ride, taking the dog for a walk, etc. You get my drift. In this way, you build a relationship that is not always fraught with negative emotion. Furthermore, if he acts disrespectfully toward you, I would recommend simply not responding to him or stopping what you're doing. If he demands something from you, walk away. No response from you will get the message to him far faster than continual lectures about respect, in my humble opinion. Finally, bullying behavior toward his brother is a toughie. My suggestion is to simply separate them. Again, a lot of attention about this issue may keep the behavior going on longer. Simply taking his brother away with you and defusing the situation without a lot of lectures time and again may make it not so fun to keep taunting his brother. In terms of the medications, Lexapro may not be doing it on its own. If your son is still explosive, there's a chance he needs something else. You may need to talk to the psychiatrist about that. Hang in there. I know this stuff is not easy. [/QUOTE]
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