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The Watercooler
So I climbed to the top of a phone pole - and jumped
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 201592" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>..............To a trapeze, which I almost caught, but instead slipped, so I was catapulted through the air, flying like superman. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/sad-very.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":sad-very:" title="sad-very :sad-very:" data-shortname=":sad-very:" /></p><p>Yep, I did my first ropes course today! And it was the scariest physical adventure I have ever done. EVER! <strong>EVER</strong>!</p><p></p><p>It was a truly interesting & self reflective moment, this day. (And all with my co-workers......hmmmm.)</p><p></p><p>It started with some benign wall climbing stuff, and then progressed to the "trust fall", where you fall backward into eveyone's arms. All I could think about was how this team of people at work has stabbed me in the back so many times, why would I literally fall into their arms. So I chose not to do it.</p><p></p><p>Then it progressed to climbing these huge ladders as a team. As I watched the teams climb, or try to climb the ladder, I had a panic attack and bowed out. There was only one group that could actually do it, but by then I was feeling bad that I was only being a passive participant, and starting to want to push through my own mortal fear.</p><p></p><p>So the next exercise was climbing a telephone pole, and then balancing on a platform 1' x2' while another person climbed to the top to join you. Then the 2 of you had to stand on the 1' x 2' platform together, while the pole quivered, and both of you jump trying to catch a trapeze. I was having a full blown panic attack, and yet I did it. I stood up, holding my bosses hand, and jumped into thin air. I think I am just now recovering - however - I overcame something I did not think I could overcome. My own mental barrier.</p><p></p><p>I hate to be watched by people while doing physical things..........<em>hate</em> it. I never played team sports or was athletic in any way. I am really very self conscious. And yet here we all are, our big butts waving in the wind climbing ladders and telephone poles for all to see. I did not want to be that vulnerable. However I did it.</p><p></p><p>The really interesting point of this, is it was supposed to be team building - and yet had my therapist been there I would have been in and out of therapy all day. It brought up so many, <em>many</em> emotions. </p><p></p><p>My own inadequacies, my fear of being vulnerable, my lack of trust, in everyone! I am pretty sure every PTS issue I have was touched on today. It was really intense. </p><p>And of couse my sister - resurfaced over and over again. And Matt, and how he is out there doing this same thing every day in his therapeutic program in Utah, and today was only a glimpse into his own personal trek.</p><p></p><p>Really, today was a journey of proportion. </p><p>I would encourage you, if you have an opportunity to do something like this, to do it.</p><p>Wow. </p><p>And to those of you who have done it. Kudos.<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/peaceful.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":peaceful:" title="peaceful :peaceful:" data-shortname=":peaceful:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 201592, member: 3301"] ..............To a trapeze, which I almost caught, but instead slipped, so I was catapulted through the air, flying like superman. :sad-very: Yep, I did my first ropes course today! And it was the scariest physical adventure I have ever done. EVER! [B]EVER[/B]! It was a truly interesting & self reflective moment, this day. (And all with my co-workers......hmmmm.) It started with some benign wall climbing stuff, and then progressed to the "trust fall", where you fall backward into eveyone's arms. All I could think about was how this team of people at work has stabbed me in the back so many times, why would I literally fall into their arms. So I chose not to do it. Then it progressed to climbing these huge ladders as a team. As I watched the teams climb, or try to climb the ladder, I had a panic attack and bowed out. There was only one group that could actually do it, but by then I was feeling bad that I was only being a passive participant, and starting to want to push through my own mortal fear. So the next exercise was climbing a telephone pole, and then balancing on a platform 1' x2' while another person climbed to the top to join you. Then the 2 of you had to stand on the 1' x 2' platform together, while the pole quivered, and both of you jump trying to catch a trapeze. I was having a full blown panic attack, and yet I did it. I stood up, holding my bosses hand, and jumped into thin air. I think I am just now recovering - however - I overcame something I did not think I could overcome. My own mental barrier. I hate to be watched by people while doing physical things..........[I]hate[/I] it. I never played team sports or was athletic in any way. I am really very self conscious. And yet here we all are, our big butts waving in the wind climbing ladders and telephone poles for all to see. I did not want to be that vulnerable. However I did it. The really interesting point of this, is it was supposed to be team building - and yet had my therapist been there I would have been in and out of therapy all day. It brought up so many, [I]many[/I] emotions. My own inadequacies, my fear of being vulnerable, my lack of trust, in everyone! I am pretty sure every PTS issue I have was touched on today. It was really intense. And of couse my sister - resurfaced over and over again. And Matt, and how he is out there doing this same thing every day in his therapeutic program in Utah, and today was only a glimpse into his own personal trek. Really, today was a journey of proportion. I would encourage you, if you have an opportunity to do something like this, to do it. Wow. And to those of you who have done it. Kudos.:peaceful: [/QUOTE]
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So I climbed to the top of a phone pole - and jumped
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