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So I layed down to take a nap...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 211189" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Aww, what a RELIEF to come here and get such loving, understanding, emotionally caring support. I feel like you all, one at a time, tucked me in while I layed my weary head down for a nap. Thank You. </p><p></p><p>I don't know how/when oldest difficult child will ever to get to the point where he recoginises that my unconditional love and goodness should be appreciated and not just taken for granted. </p><p></p><p>I could have gone down the list of all the years and ways that I was there for him...the rehab, hospitalisations, councelors, courts, juvenille and then adult jail and prison...Specifically the "prison" time just about cost me everything. It was during the first year of his prison time that I finally lost my mind in psychosis. He did not witness it though, nor was he there when I had extreme panic attacks over his situation and the nightmare it was alone worrying myself sick about what he was exposed to while in prison. </p><p></p><p>I think if you were to ask him about my love and time etc, he would probibly tell you that, "Well, no one made her, I never asked her to"...etc. I honestly think if he were to fully be able to absorb my sacrifices for him over the years that he would be hit heavy with personal guilt...and I don't think he can accept "his part" in the hardship I endured for him. </p><p></p><p>I am able to say that I have a VERY thoughtful, caring, loving easy child. She is anyone's dearest friend and a caregiver in her own right. I only hope she will not end up in a family that takes "her best" for granted as does mine. </p><p></p><p>Maybe someday when/if oldest difficult child has his own child to pain over, maybe then he will realize alittle of what his mamma went through to express her love, I don't know. </p><p></p><p>I would have to say that most of our difficult child's are fairly self centered and and can't fully grasp the endless amounts of love that our hearts and minds have poured out for their care. </p><p></p><p>Thank you again for showing me such loving support and acknowledging my years/time put in. And really for making it easier for me to lay my head down without explaination, smile. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and love...yall are the sweetest. </p><p>Tammy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 211189, member: 3305"] Aww, what a RELIEF to come here and get such loving, understanding, emotionally caring support. I feel like you all, one at a time, tucked me in while I layed my weary head down for a nap. Thank You. I don't know how/when oldest difficult child will ever to get to the point where he recoginises that my unconditional love and goodness should be appreciated and not just taken for granted. I could have gone down the list of all the years and ways that I was there for him...the rehab, hospitalisations, councelors, courts, juvenille and then adult jail and prison...Specifically the "prison" time just about cost me everything. It was during the first year of his prison time that I finally lost my mind in psychosis. He did not witness it though, nor was he there when I had extreme panic attacks over his situation and the nightmare it was alone worrying myself sick about what he was exposed to while in prison. I think if you were to ask him about my love and time etc, he would probibly tell you that, "Well, no one made her, I never asked her to"...etc. I honestly think if he were to fully be able to absorb my sacrifices for him over the years that he would be hit heavy with personal guilt...and I don't think he can accept "his part" in the hardship I endured for him. I am able to say that I have a VERY thoughtful, caring, loving easy child. She is anyone's dearest friend and a caregiver in her own right. I only hope she will not end up in a family that takes "her best" for granted as does mine. Maybe someday when/if oldest difficult child has his own child to pain over, maybe then he will realize alittle of what his mamma went through to express her love, I don't know. I would have to say that most of our difficult child's are fairly self centered and and can't fully grasp the endless amounts of love that our hearts and minds have poured out for their care. Thank you again for showing me such loving support and acknowledging my years/time put in. And really for making it easier for me to lay my head down without explaination, smile. Hugs and love...yall are the sweetest. Tammy [/QUOTE]
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So I layed down to take a nap...
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