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So, I'm going to say this out loud
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 358238" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>flutter, you certainly DO know how to parent her and are doing the very best you can! You are seeing to her needs as any parent should. As for being over protective? daisyface brought up the point of being like a toddler. I don't know if I see it quite like that exactly but I do see that you want to bring her comfort and try and help her in any way you can. Then when what you have done doesn't work it makes you feel sad/upset that you couldn't fulfill that need. That's not knowing how to parent in my opinion. It's kind of like going to a doctor and he can't figure out what's wrong with you. Does that make them a bad doctor? No, it just means either he hasn't found the answer yet or is searching in the wrong place. </p><p></p><p>I think you need to give yourself some breathing room and LOTS of credit for all that you are and have done already! For her panic attacks, I have a thought, if you haven't tried it already. Can you try and talk her through them when they are happening? When I get a panic attack my So talks me through it, even if my thoughts race to the most outlandish ones. Somehow, in talking through the scenerio (he listens) I come back to reality of what is really going on with myself at the moment and I also discover the trigger (which is often nothing to do with the immediate situation). For example, you said your daughter had a panic attack sitting in the booth at the restaurant and feeling trapped and claustrophobic. That really might not have had to do with the restaurant, the booth, or even the people at the moment but in her mind it did. If you tried talking to her (and yes, she might get frustrated at your first trials of doing this but persist as she learns to trust you and herself and see it work) and listen to what she says no matter what, then when you hear something ask a few questions based upon what you hear for clarification or if something she says causes you to take pause and wander in your own thoughts on "I wonder if this or that", ask her about it. Try it and see if it helps. She will become focused on that and the anxiety/panic seems to go away and it also teaches her that she can work through it with you. Just a thought from my end for you to try sometime.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 358238, member: 455"] flutter, you certainly DO know how to parent her and are doing the very best you can! You are seeing to her needs as any parent should. As for being over protective? daisyface brought up the point of being like a toddler. I don't know if I see it quite like that exactly but I do see that you want to bring her comfort and try and help her in any way you can. Then when what you have done doesn't work it makes you feel sad/upset that you couldn't fulfill that need. That's not knowing how to parent in my opinion. It's kind of like going to a doctor and he can't figure out what's wrong with you. Does that make them a bad doctor? No, it just means either he hasn't found the answer yet or is searching in the wrong place. I think you need to give yourself some breathing room and LOTS of credit for all that you are and have done already! For her panic attacks, I have a thought, if you haven't tried it already. Can you try and talk her through them when they are happening? When I get a panic attack my So talks me through it, even if my thoughts race to the most outlandish ones. Somehow, in talking through the scenerio (he listens) I come back to reality of what is really going on with myself at the moment and I also discover the trigger (which is often nothing to do with the immediate situation). For example, you said your daughter had a panic attack sitting in the booth at the restaurant and feeling trapped and claustrophobic. That really might not have had to do with the restaurant, the booth, or even the people at the moment but in her mind it did. If you tried talking to her (and yes, she might get frustrated at your first trials of doing this but persist as she learns to trust you and herself and see it work) and listen to what she says no matter what, then when you hear something ask a few questions based upon what you hear for clarification or if something she says causes you to take pause and wander in your own thoughts on "I wonder if this or that", ask her about it. Try it and see if it helps. She will become focused on that and the anxiety/panic seems to go away and it also teaches her that she can work through it with you. Just a thought from my end for you to try sometime. [/QUOTE]
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